Caught between trying to be modern, but then trying not to be too ‘burger’, we live in pretty funny times. On the other hand, ‘mod-run’ tou hum sirf kapre aur furniture mein ho rahay hain soch mein nahi. Unequal opportunities for girls is still an issue we have to deal with but khair hai, Sapphire pe sale hai we’ll talk about this later:

In all this mess, Shumaila Baji proved to be the voice of reason we all need. 

But who the hell is she?

She is a confident, proud of her roots baji who will call you out on your ‘fake’ shit. Don’t worry, she does all of this in the funniest way ever. But you’ll never realize she’s making fun of you or calling you out, but then it hits you like an existential crisis.

Shumaila Baji is very ‘deer’ (see what I did there) to our hearts because even though she might be funny, what she says has meaning and impact. Shumaila ka koi filter nahin hai (teehee), she says what she wants and its so frickin’ hilarious. For example:

When Shumaila told us that she needs no man to financially support her

She can pay for her own food, be it at McDonald’s or Butt Karahi. She doesn’t take any favors, Shumaila is a strong girl, Shumaila is a good girl.

When she sniffed out those wannabe and desperate types

She calls them as she sees them. You be chichori around her and and she’s going to be all up in your business. Shumaila appreciates the genvun peoples in the layfe.

When Shumaila told us how makeup should really be done

Shumaila definitely said the baat jo humare dil main hoti hai when we see that one girl who’s just layer upon layer upon layer of makeup.

When she went all introspective and shizz

Apne giraiban mein jhaanko, larkiyon.

Don’t get Shumaila wrong, she loves to judge but she knows where to draw the line. Maybe we all ought to learn a thing or two from her.

When she spoke the goddamn truth about those nosy aunties who just need to know everything

To all them detective Aunties and Uncles, Shumaila and the entire younger generation send you a collective Fittay Munh.

When she wasn’t afraid to get physical

She knows how to deal with them chichoray who just don’t get a hint.

When she faced all the accusations against her, in style

Yup that’s right, walk away. Mou utha kar aye mujh par ilzaam laganay? Maza Aaya, hai?

When she was afraid of love 

This is basically the desi equivalent of the nerd argument about love, you know the ‘love is a just a release of blah blah blah chemicals from your brain’ one.

When she just knew how easy it is to wrap your fingers around some men

Ladies, hope y’all are taking notes.

When she was okay with her English not being super amazing #Urdu4Lyf

Jo bhi ho Shumaila, hum tumhe muaaf karenge… karenge… karenge.

When she was humble AF 

Jaalus-y never good! We should all be like Shumaila, good girls.

When she kept herself grounded despite her fame

She doesn’t let some 5 minutes (or 5 articles) of fame let her get too crazy. You go girl!

She may seem like just a funny Snapchat profile and it may seem like I’m really pushing it, but Shumaila is on to something. More power to you.