You may be ready for shaadi but is your bae, too?

When you’re with someone, be it for six months or for a couple of years, there are always doubts that loom overhead; how do you know if they’re the one? Sure you get along, but you get along with most people. Sometimes it happens over time; you both mold into each others’ skin, where your bones become theirs. However, in most cases, it’ll take one singular moment. It’s when the relationship flourishes that you know bae is really “the one”.

Here’s how to tell if your bae is ready for shaadi:

1. When bae stands by your side through all the awful things life throws at you

‘This was maybe a month into our relationship. We went out to a fancy dinner for his birthday and I got food poisoning. I spent the rest of the night in the fetal position, moaning about the shooting pain in my stomach and how I felt as though I was ruining his birthday. He reassured me that I wasn’t and never left my side.

The last thought I had that night before falling asleep was that I knew I loved him.’

2. This person’s ready for shaadi if they’re there for you to make life a little easier

‘There’s a lot of good moments that led up to me knowing…but one I can never seem to forget…I was working an ok but low paying job (due to moving to her city without having a job lined up) and the used car I bought when I moved there had a transmission problem about 6 months after I bought it. There were two or three days that she had to get up a lot earlier and take me to work and come pick me (while the car was in the shop) and it wasn’t necessarily convenient for her. I remember at one point during those days I apologized for causing the inconvenience and she said something to the effect of it’s not a problem and that we were in this together. Looking back, it’s something small but I’ve never forgotten it.

Looking back, it’s something small but I’ve never forgotten it.’

3. They are the ones who take care of you when you’re sick

‘Had my first migraine with her at my apartment. I told her a few times that I was useless for the rest of the day, and that if she wanted to go home, it was really ok. I encouraged it. She sat with me through the whole thing, got my laundry that I had started before the migraine hit (while folding it all and putting it away), got some food in case I wanted to eat, and didn’t judge my gross puking.’

4. When bae loves you no matter what is another sign that they’re ready for shaadi

‘I threw up all over his car on our third date (I was totally sober, not sure what happened), and instead of getting mad or upset, he pulled over, helped me clean up, drove me home, and told me not to cry. Then when we got home, he helped me inside, and sat with my dad while I went off to change and clean up more. He didn’t leave until I came back out and he saw that I was going to be okay.

He impressed both my father and myself, and we’re married now.’

5. They are there to help not just you but also people that you love

‘When I realized he saw my family as his family. My brother graduated from Marine boot camp, and I wanted to be there. It was like 600 miles away, but we saved up so we could drive down. At some point, I realized he wasn’t there for me.

He was there for him, and for my brother. This wasn’t his girlfriend’s family event he was obligated to go to, this was him supporting someone he loved as well.’

6. When you know this person is going to be your rock when someone close to you passes away and they’re your support, they’re ready for shaadi

‘I met my boyfriend about a month or so before my dad passed away and we didn’t get together until about 6 months afterwards. We’ve been together now for just over 2 years, and he’s coming with me to my old primary school in a few weeks where my dad is being honored with a plaque in the building he worked hard to get. I realized that he’s always wanting me to go visit my dad at the cemetery and running our relay for life, not just for me: but because he never knew my dad – he wants to get to know my dad, and I think he feels this is the best way to.

The fact he cares so much for my dad, who was my friend, even though they never met, melts my heart.’

7. They’re ready for shaadi if they aren’t bothered by your past, in fact they embrace it

‘We’d been dating for five months when I was in a terrible accident. My two boys (8/2) were fine but I was critical for days. He was at my bedside every minute he was able. He helped my Mom with the boys and even did the grocery shopping for them.

That was 22 years ago and he’s still there by my side.’

8. They’re always real with you

‘We were talking about what to do one weekend and I suggested we sit in our pyjamas, play video games and order pizza. Her response? “That’s my definition of the perfect date ever.”

That, and after my dad met her for the first time he said to me “She’s a lovely girl, I don’t know what she sees in you though.”

9. And they can make you laugh

‘She got me on the first date. We had exactly one long pause in conversation at dinner. She put out a salt shaker and her knife and asked: “What’s this?” I was surprised and said I didn’t know. “It’s a salt with a deadly weapon” She swept me off my feet with a dad joke.

We have been together for 10 years, married for 3 and we have a 7-month-old daughter. I love her.’

10. If you’re separated by distance, you can still always rely on them

‘The first time she came over (we were long distance) she came for the week and it was the most amazing, wonderful week I’ve ever had to the point where she was considering missing her flight and living over here with me but we both knew that was silly. At the airport, as I’m sending her off she looks up at me with big puppy dog eyes with tears in them and says…

‘How can I go home when Home is with you?’ I held her extra tight until she had to go.’

11. When you’re completely and foolishly real with them, too

‘I farted on him. He farted back.’

These real stories about how people found out their bae was “the one” have been adapted from over here.

Cover image via: @mahamiqbalbosan / Instagram