Living away from Pakistan can be hard. Life as a pardesi can be difficult, there is loads you need to get used to and loads of luxuries you need to realize you can’t enjoy any longer.
However once a year you get a long couple of weeks off and you (usually) buy a ticket to fly back home. Here is a definitive list of stuff that you’ll experience:
1. The shaandaar khandaani welcome
Nothing can quite beat maa peyo after a while. You can be sure they’ll be the happiest people to see you back home. And let’s not forget your bhai behan, finally a few people you can go completely bonkers with (because what else are they for). Meeting ‘family’ very soon extends to cousins, chachas, mamus and the dreaded phoupo!
2. Maa ke haath ke khaane
No amount of packet walay Biryani masalas can beat your ammi jee‘s cooking. After a long period of eating your failed attempts at reaching mom’s level of Biryani, you finally get to eat the real stuff. Weight gain is inevitable.
3. Renunion with your jiggars
When you’re all alone in the pardes, some of the people you miss with all your heart are you dil ke tukre, your friends. Going home means you can finally spend some quality time together recreating all the ‘puraani jeans’ shenanigans.
4. ‘Yaar humari bhi job baahir lagwa do’
Every single one of your friends and friends of friends and friends of friends of friends will ask you about jobs abroad.
5. Thailay waalay fries
All the Burger Kings, Hardees and McDonald’s in the pardes (and even in the des) cannot begin to compete with epic awesomeness of thailay walay fries with that red goo that they call ketchup.
6. And then the moment you regret eating those fries
You will almost instantly hate yourself for having those fries. No amount of stomach medicine can cure you. But the moment you get better you go back to eating street food, because as they say, jitna ghaleez utna lazeez.
7. Shop till you drop
Exchange rates make everything look pretty cheap. So whenever you go to Liberty market or Zainab market, you’d better say bye to your hard earned dollars/euros/pounds/dirhams.
8. You go to all the local travel destinations
You might have seen some pretty sick pardesi beaches but Pakistani beaches have a particular charm. Camels, cars, out of control kids, there’s something in that chaos that you just can’t find anywhere else.
Also see: This is What Happens at Karachi’s Clifton Beach Every Sunday
9. And you’ll have to bring loads of requests for your rishteydaar
The night before you fly out, your phone will ring and an insignificant relative will be on the other end. They will have a list of the most random stuff that you will have to buy because, GILLA SHIKWA!
10. You load up your laptops with all the movies and TV shows because ahemtorrentsahem
Since Pakistan mein sab kuch chalta hai, most pardesis miss having the liberty of raising a finger and having plenty of good torrents and streams at your fingertips. God knows why the rest of the world is so against this, it’s amazing 😛
11. You start enjoying having EVERYTHING done for you
Pardesi lifestyle includes a lot of DIY Everything. In Pakistan, you’ll take any and all opportunities to have someone else to do something for you.
12. There will be lots and lots of questions about gori bachian
They start out with a simple “suna hai wahan baray clubs shubs hotay hain” and if you make the mistake of saying “haan bohut hain” then you have fallen right into their trap. Let the uncomfortable questioning begin.
13. You will feel odd about being late everywhere after the punctuality of the angrez qoum
Everything in pardes happens on time so being late is really not an option. Guess what, you don’t have to early anywhere because 10PM actually means midnight.
14. People will expect you to know every Pakistani in your country
‘Tum kisi *insert generic Pakistani name* ko jaante ho, woh actually humare parosan ke beta hai‘.
Yes aunty, in a city of millions of people I know all the Pakistanis. In fact I stand at the airport everyday with a sign so that I can make desi friends.
15. Mango Milkshake, Faalsa Sharbat, Kulfa. ‘Nuff Said
There are a few of a Pakistani’s favorite things, and sadly they can only be found in Pakistan.
Also see: 17 Things Pakistan Does Better Than America
16. You’ll be attending lots and lots of shaadiyan
Shaadis are just an excuse to go crazy for a few days. Dance like crazy, eat good food and get photos taken. Also putting up pictures on Instagram for your ‘international’ friends to see and comment ‘OMG such color. Love the culture’ *rolls eyes*.
17. And of course, every auntie will try to rishta their kids to you for a passport that isn’t green
The moment your home being in America, England or Dubai is floated at the shaadi, a mob of aunties with shaadi– appropriate age daughters who only want a pardesi husband, will swarm you.
Leaving Pakistan can be difficult. There is so many things to love about the country but whenever you leave, be sure you’ll be taking along an enormous collection of memories and don’t worry, just look forward to the other memories you can make next year.
Cover image via: urduwire
