This Pakistani Movie About Salman Rushdie Is So Batshit Crazy You'll Question Your Sanity

By Ather Ahmed | 14 Jun, 2017

Lollywood was a really weird place back in the day. Not saying it was bad, that’s totally subjective. Let’s say it was weird, in the sense that films of that era had quite a unique perspective. So I decided to watch this film called ‘International Gorrilay‘ released in 1990 and boy was it an experience. I’ll try to explain it as much as I can but I’ll still say it’s something you have to see for yourself.

**Spoiler alert: The film is not about Apes.**

 

It’s actually about Salman Rushdie, the guy the whole Muslim world loves to hate.

 

salmanrushdie
Source: indiatoday.in

For those of you who are not familiar with the name, he’s one of the most hated men in the Muslim world. He once authored a book called Satanic Verses which is considered the most blasphemous text on this planet by Mulsims. The film basically came as an immediate reaction to the whole controversy.

 

Salman Rushdie played by esteemed actor Afzal Ahmad is the villain in the movie. No surprises there.

Source: Evernew Pictures

So in the film, Salman Rushdie wants to destroy Islamic world by attacking its epicenter which happens to be Pakistan. What does he do to achieve this goal? Obviously through building nightclubs and brothels across the nation. The only thing standing in his way are three brothers played by Javed Sheikh, Ghullam Mohiuddin and the baddest man on the planet, Mustafa Qureshi.

 

The film starts with Salman Rushdie’s peeps chilling, having whiskey and talking about destroying Islam and stuff.

Ho Haye Sharab pee rahay hain? They must be evil.

Source: Evernew Pictures

The gathering of these scoundrels is led by Chief Batu Batu, a guy in a cowboy hat who is Rushdie’s primary henchman. He is basically telling everyone how they want to destroy Pakistan and stuff. Also, he’s Jewish (probably for dramatic effect). Textbook Pakistani villain stuff. Not evil enough? Some trashy synth pop from the 80’s is playing in the background.

 

On the other side, Mustafa Qureshi plays an honest police officer all about truth, justice, and the Pakistani way.

Source: Evernew Pictures

 

His two younger brothers, while fighting for the same cause, are vigilantes of some sort.

Source: Evernew Pictures

They are jobless nikamas who have nothing better to do than raid nightclubs, so you can see how these two are constantly at odds with their older brother. But like most desi films, they are ladlas of their bhabi.

 

However, the three brothers get on the same page after Salman Rushdie publishes Satanic Verses.

Mustafa decides to turn in his gun and badge after police open fires on a mob protesting the release of the book and decides to go on a full crusade against Salman Rushdie alongside his brothers; the three call themselves ‘International Gorrilay“.

 

Salman Rushdie meanwhile is busy killing and torturing Muslims for fun.

All while living on an island in the Philippines with an army lead by an Israeli general.

Source: Evernew Pictures

The general has a sister played by the stunning Babra Sharif, who has an interesting superpower of her own. She can detect Muslims from miles afar. Every time a bunch of Mujahedeen come to kill Rushdie, Babra here spots them in advance. But here’s the plot twist: she later converts to Islam and romances with Javed Sheikh. Did you really expect Javed Sheikh to remain single throughout the movie?

Source: Evernew Pictures

Oh, and did I mention that our heroes at one point raid Rushdie’s party dressed up as Batman?

Source: Evernew Pictures

 

Rushdie also has a ton of body doubles at his disposal.

Source: Evernew Pictures

Whenever we think the guerillas have finally killed him, turns out it was just his body double in a mask.

 

In the end, Salman Rushdie gets what he deserves, THE WRATH OF GOD.

Like literally. A bunch of flying Qurans end up shooting laser beams to kill the infidel that is Salman Rushdie.

We couldn’t find the whole thing on the internet, for free but with stealthy googling, we’re sure you can. And if you’ve already seen this movie do let us know about what you thought of this masterpiece.

 


Cover image via: Evernew Pictures

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