Hey Pakistani men, it’s respectable that not everyone of you is out to honorably put to rest the women who taint your “honor” but there are certain things that most, if not all, of you end up saying to your womenfolk that are demeaning. If you really respect your girls, here’s what you shouldn’t be saying to them:
“I don’t want you to work, I can earn enough for both of us”.
She probably doesn’t need to work for the money, she needs it to actualize herself as a person. Think of her as a human being first and a woman later. Just like you can look at the sky with the dream of someday soaring in it like a pilot, she also has every right to dream and a have wish to be whoever she wants to be and to pursue that dream. Support her and watch how she will not only make you proud, but shower you with even more affection.
“I don’t like you talking to Asad or Faizan. Unfriend them right now”.
If you don’t trust her, and you don’t have complete faith in her and think that she can easily be talked into cheating on you, then you need to let her go. She will at some point in her life come face to face with men (no matter how hard you try) and some of those men may try to lure her into dark alleys but the right women will never follow. For a faithful woman, attention from other men doesn’t mean a thing, so you need not to worry. Also, she trusts you to interact with other women without cheating on her with every single one of them, so give her the same respect.
“You cannot take that promotion, log kia kaheinge? Iski biwi iss se ziada kamati hai?”
Financial string is not the only string holding two people together. So you don’t need to think she’ll get away or respect or love you less just because she has become more successful than you or has more money than you. The right woman will never do that and your woman’s success should be nothing but a source of pride for you.
“Cover up, you’re not wearing that outside of this house”.
There is plenty of fish in the sea, if you prefer a certain kind of dressing in a girl, go for a girl that prefers that certain kind of dressing. Its kind of unfair to first choose any girl and then turn her into a version you prefer.
“I don’t like your Azra khala, don’t invite her for dinner ever again”.
Her family means the world to her. Sure you don’t like everyone in the world and you don’t have to. Just respect the people that mean the world to her. She is your significant other, not your slave.
“Women can never drive, maar di na meri nayi Civic”.
Don’t laugh if she wants to play football, or ride motorcycles or challenges you at pool. Don’t be sexist or rude when she wants to learn how to drive or wants to fix the computer and say “tumse nahi hoga” Instead, if necessary, walk her through the process, teach her.
“You’re going to your best friend’s house? Chalo, I’m coming with you”.
Its impossible and unfair for her to give 100% of her time to you. She already spends most of her life with you, and for you. Give her the space she deserves.
“I think Sadia is too much of a party girl, you should hang out with Zara more, she goes to the dars everyday”.
You don’t have to like all her friends and its unreasonable to ask her to stop seeing a friend just because you don’t feel right about them. “Mujhe ajeeb lagti hai bus“. Sorry but that’s just not a good enough reason.
“Why did you just turn off your phone as soon as I came into the room? Who were you talking to?”
Snatching her phone to see who she’s texting, trying to narrow your eyes so you can watch her type her Facebook password. Just relax, if she’s doing hanky panky, you will find out. Nobody ever gets away with cheating, no matter how much of a pro they are. Its time to throw away the ninja apparel.
Cover Image via: dresspk.com