“Ma sadqay“, I hear a voice say behind me as I adjust the beige shawl around my shoulders.
I can feel dark eyes leering at me from every angle, even while my own are plastered onto the ground. I bring my bag close to me and hold my breath as I walk ahead.
I know I’m completely concealed, but I can’t help but feel undressed and violated with each step. With every “Baaji“, I hear countless other things under their breath that turn my face red.
I’ve been “accidentally” brushed, poked and rubbed up against by the very men who refer to me as baaji, their sister.
I’ve been looked at from head to toe, as if I am an ornament upon a shelf, by men whose beards rival Dumbledore’s. They say “Mashallah” as if it lessens the impact of their lustful gaze. I have errands to run and a life to live, so I have no option except to walk by the endless chichoray listening to Tum Hi Ho on their phones.
This isn’t just my story, countless other women have felt this way.
Catcalling is a global problem that affects us in various languages, lewd gestures and perverse gazes.
The end result is the same though, it always creates some source of discomfort. It can ruin your mood for the day, or completely destroy any desire to go out.
It doesn’t just affect the “younger” girls either.
I’ve seen my own grandmother get mauled in the marketplace while the aggressor smiled lasciviously, as if it was the most humorous thing he had seen all week. Someone everyone lovingly calls dadi.
A friend of mine vividly recalls being a pre-pubescent 12-year-old and leaving her house without a dupatta and being surrounded by men, staring her down.
A child? Spare the meri shehzadi jokes. It isn’t funny.
Women of all ages, sizes, covered or uncovered, are treated like objects that men have the right over.
Why?
Psychologically, it scars deeper than the surface.
Various women feel anxiety and depression when they are faced with this behavior. Women who are sexually objectified in their surroundings are less likely to want to involve themselves in day-to-day fare.
I personally feel uncomfortable walking to the store just to get myself a bottle of water, so I end up sending my little cousin in my place.
This was examined in a study by the University of Kansas, where women were asked about being sexually harassed and assaulted. Those who had experienced immense harassment felt at higher risk of being raped or molested.
Also linked, was a higher tendency to feel depressed or anxious. The reason for this is because “when a man catcalls you, you don’t know if it will end at that point or if it could escalate to assault.”
Catcalling promotes fear and discomfort.
Women don’t choose to get harassed.
Just like they don’t choose to get raped.
Men do not seem to understand the toll it can take on a woman when she is approached or called out to. Here’s a good infographic to help you understand:
Remember, I’m not a cat so you should keep your catcalling to yourself.
Cover image via: morewallpapers.com