The story of a dozen women coming forward to accuse big-time Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein of sexual harassment and rape made headline. The allegations along with the subsequent #MeToo campaign prompted individuals across the globe including well-known media personalities to come out with their own suppressed stories of sexual misconduct.
The #MeToo campaign even managed to gain some ground in Pakistan wherein people are otherwise discouraged from reporting even something as severe as rape:
A sexual assault, at the age of 10, changed me forever. As a male-survivor, I was deprived of the process of sharing and unburdening. #MeToo
— Snober Abbasi (@snobers) October 16, 2017
#MeToo understand that after the assault, the attacker goes on to live a normal life while the victim deals with years of PTSD
— Sehar (@seeharr_) October 16, 2017
Often times a tragic event ends up becoming a catalyst for a positive change in society. The fairly recent story of 7-year old rape and murder victim has sparked a much-needed conversation in our society. Earlier this week, the mutilated body of Zainab was uncovered from a dumpster in Kasur an area that during the past few years has become notorious as a hub of child abuse cases.
Actress Nadia Jamil took to Twitter and opened up about her own experiences as a child when she was abused.
When I sexually abused it ws by my Kari Sahab, my Driver & then by a highly educated elite families son. Now a happily married business man in London. It’s across the board. Men abuse across the board. My family still wants me to stay silent. But the shame IS NOT MINE! Never ever
— Nadia Jamil (@NJLahori) January 13, 2018
She also shed light on the hidden shame and how we’re automatically taught to brush this under the rug.
I was 4 the first time I was abused sexually. I was in college when it blew out of proportion.
People tell me not to talk to respect my families honour. Is my families honour packed in my body? I am a proud,strong,loving survivor. No shame on me or my kids. Only pride 4 being me— Nadia Jamil (@NJLahori) January 13, 2018
She called for a unanimous effort to educate boys from an early age.
You want to end rape? End the way men are taught to see themselves as custodians of women’s bodies, with a natural born right to have sex with who ever & whatever they choose. This sense of entitlement is taught to a boy. He is not born with it. UNTEACH IT. Teach our sons right?
— Nadia Jamil (@NJLahori) January 11, 2018
This encouraged people from all over Pakistan to discuss instances where they too were sexually abused.
The tallest man in my Muhallah had first sexually abused me when I was not even 10, telling me If there is some bird. However, I could not tell that in my family for my culture consider it GHAIRAT. Later by second #uncle, who had kissed my lips and I was shocked – FOREVER!
— Haris Zafar Bukhari (@HZBukhari) January 13, 2018
The stories are full of heartbreak..
And repressed memories…
2) On my 1st visit to Pakistan when I was 5, our car broke down on GT road. Luckily we were near a bus stop or something and my dad instructed us to stay with mum while he arranged an alternative. I was wearing a white net dress. I felt someone standing very close behind me…
— M E R E E N (@MehreenTweets) January 13, 2018
3) too close for comfort. I felt something on the small of my back, I'm assuming it was a finger. In my innocence I thought maybe his finger was itchy and he just wanted to scratch it against my net dress (stupid I know). I turned back to look and our gaze met for a brief moment
— M E R E E N (@MehreenTweets) January 13, 2018
4) It was a man with eyes like the devil. Bloodshot and deep red. That moment scarred me forever. I went and stood at the other side of ammi and felt so safe. I mentioned it to no one but I never wore that dress again. Ever…
— M E R E E N (@MehreenTweets) January 13, 2018
And hope…
I am a proud survivor of the same thing
— Iffat Hussain (@Iffathossein) January 13, 2018
Many people gave their respect to Nadia and expressed their support
— Mohd Aamir (@AAMIRABBASCH) January 13, 2018
While the response was overwhelming, Nadia asked everyone to respect her body of work rather than focusing on her story of abuse.
You don’t need 2 respect me 4 surviving sexual abuse. You can respect me for who I am if you wnt:) My work,my heart,my Faith,positivity that Allah blesses me. But 4 all the respect u give,RESPECT BACK at you 4 being the kind of people survivors feel safe opening their stories 2?
— Nadia Jamil (@NJLahori) January 13, 2018
And reminded everyone of one important fact:
Teach children who survive rape they are NOT VICTIMS. THEY ARE SURVIVORS. All of us who hv been battered,broken by physical abuse,sexual or other forms of violence,we are SURVIVORS! How amazing is that! We made it. The stars are our limit! Pain is energy. Energy is strength❤️?
— Nadia Jamil (@NJLahori) January 13, 2018
We sincerely hope that the Zainab tragedy allows us as a society to evolve and not shy away from topics like these. The more we speak about them the better we’ll understand how to curb them.