All The Ways You're The Person You Are Today Because Of Your Mother

By Sajeer Shaikh | 12 May, 2017

The bond you share with your mother is, undoubtedly, extremely sacred. There is no one in your life who can replace your ammi.  Your mother is your source of comfort and your pillar of support. Above all else, she’s your querencia – your home and safe space.


Many a time, however, you may not necessarily see eye to eye with your mother.


There are numerous downsides to this, of course. For those who constantly and blindly seek the approval of their parents, this can be a bit of a setback in terms of growth. On the other hand, constantly being challenged in a productive way actually helps shape our characters. In such cases, we owe our mothers a ton of gratitude. Here are a few reasons why:


Mommy’s chappals have straightened out more people than actual police walay chittar

Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But honestly, we’re all scared to death of the ultimate way our ammis end arguments – the chittar. Ab obviously, not everyone should have chittars flung at them. But kabhi kabhaar, this is all that works, unfortunately. Hum sab bhi toh dheet hain. 



Ammi‘s lectures help you see her perspective and bridge the gap between two separate generations

There’s an obvious generation gap that exists between us and our mothers. However, by being constantly challenged, we are offered an insight into the perspective of the older generation and vice versa. The extent to which this understanding is fostered depends on each individual’s ability to be open to new ideas, of course. However, once that bit is overcome, this is an excellent way to start bridging the gap that exists within the two generations – even if it is within the confines of our houses.



Her values help shape your values

Our core set of beliefs and values are always passed down from our parents – especially our moms. The way they see the world becomes our worldview for a long period of time. Even when we grow older and start thinking differently, there will always be certain cultural beliefs and values that we cling to because of how deeply ingrained they are within us.



You learn to see the world from different lenses because of her

At many points in our lives, we may end up locking horns with our ammis. Let’s face it – some of us are a bit more progressive and think differently than our parents. Whether the topic is technology, relationships or even certain cultural beliefs – chances are, it’ll lead to an uncomfortable encounter. However, by viewing the flaws in each other’s arguments, we allows our minds to grow.

Source: Oriental Films


It allows your strong ideas to be challenged at, which is a safe space and practice ground for the real world

We don’t expect to be challenged in a safe space. However, once we’re challenged at home, it prepares us for what’s waiting in the real world. After all, agar ammi ko samjha sakte ho toh kisi ko bhi samjha sakte ho. 

Source: Oriental Films


You balance each other’s emotional outbursts

While ammis can be pretty dramatic, hum bachay bhi kam nahi hain. It’s just a matter of who takes up which role on that particular day. However, by withstanding our mothers’ emotional outbursts that we consider over the top, we (in most cases) develop a sense of sensitivity – at least towards those we care about.

Source: Sony Music India Vevo/YouTube


She teaches you to be able to stand up to authority and bear the consequences for it

Not only is this a display of immense resilience, it reflects upon a certain level of steadfastness that has been fostered within us over the course of many years. This steadfastness helps us through every testing stage in our lives. Besides, when we take on our ammis, we’re kind of risking a lot – like the smooth texture of our facial features, for example.

Source: Tumblr


You figure out how to get your point across without crossing a line

There’s always a tehzeeb ka daira that you have to stay within while getting your point across. Our constant debates with our mothers help establish that daira. By being at loggerheads with someone we respect and love to such a huge extent, we learn how to get our view across peacefully.

Source: Oriental Films


There is a constant exchange of perspective

One of the best things about being able to talk to someone that close to us who has a completely different perspective to offer is the sense of empathy that is forged within us. The constant exchange of perspective enables us to get a different point of view on the same matter which makes us more aware as well.



She enlightens you

When we exchange views on particularly controversial, what we end up doing is establishing a mutually beneficial dialogue. While at the end of the day there may not necessarily be any winners of the debate, both parties leave the stage slightly better informed than before.



Undoubtedly, we owe our mothers an infinite amount of gratitude. Whether it’s the endless amount of love they give or the challenges they pose as for us – everything makes us who we are. The very core of our beings is sculpted by our mothers. Let’s take time out this Mother’s Day to thank them for it in every way possible.


This is part of our series for ‘Mother’s Day’, celebrating every aspect of our lives our mothers are an integral part of. For other pieces in the series, click here.

Cover image via:

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