Wedding guests can be as annoying as they are important to a wedding, but kiya karein. As shaadi season begins to wind down (does it ever wind down tbh?) let us have a look at some of the more familiar types of shaadi guests spotted at these events.
Some of these we can relate to, some remind us of your friends or fam and some we avoid like the plague (hello, Rishta Auntie). So without much further ado, let us begin:
1. The Dancers
Be it choreographed medleys or spontaneous moves at the drop of a beat, this type just needs an excuse to break into dance.
2. The Diva
The Diva is there to steal the show from the dulhan as the most bedecked and most photographed. Instagram will promptly be plastered by photographs of her with her very own hashtag.
3. The DSLR wala monkey
Photography ati ho ya naa aati ho, if you have a DSLR in hand people are going to want to be photographed by you. Weddings are a great place to show off your cool, expensive AF camera. It’s also the only thing that distinguishes you from our next type.
4. The Tharkee
Ladies put so much effort into looking hot AF for a shaadi, painstakingly putting together looks, hours at the parlor and whatnot. The tharkee is there to bask in their beauty like a besharam.
5. The Foodie
Dances, group selfies and all other festivities are all distractions from the main event, the khaana. The second the waiters start heating the food, you can feel your adrenaline levels rise and you anticipate the mad scramble to heap your plate full of food.
6. The Gatecrasher
Gatecrashers come in three categories;
a. Bored AF and want some poondi and free food.
b. Butthurt acquaintances and relatives who weren’t invited to the event but will show up just to spite the hosts.
c. Both of the above.
7. The “Bus muun dikha ke aana hai” guests
Unlike the gatecrasher who is desperate to attend shaadis, this type would rather spend their evening at home in their jammies introverting.
8. Joota chupai churail
Will have her eyes on the dulha‘s shoes all evening, strategizing how to get her hands on them (foot fetishist much?). Once she achieves her goal she will haggle and hound the larkay walay mercilessly for money.
9. The Gossip Girls (or Guys)
From comments on everyone’s weight and what they’re wearing to all the info about the bride and groom and their families, the gossip knows it all #FakeNews.
10. The critic
You can throw the most perfect wedding function ever, but the critic will find (or create) some keera in it. Have a lavish event = paisa phenk rahay hain, have a simple function = kanjoosi kar rahay hain so on and so forth.
11. The Rishta Auntie
Shaadi venues are the hunting grounds of the Rishta Auntie. Be wary of nosy women stalking you and asking very personal questions.
Which type are you?
Cover image via: Mir Anwar / mybigfatpakistaniwedding.com