The world of Pakistani bazaars is like no other. Not only are your senses bombarded with a bevy of sights and smells, you also hear a lot of interesting things at each visit. I know I have. Here are a few things you’ve most definitely overheard at Pakistani bazaars.
1. Jee baji, bolain.
Ah, that lovely greeting when you enter. As soon as you pass by a vendor at a bazaar, he’ll assume you’re there to buy his stuff. Or you’ll hear him say this to all his other bajis.
2. Beta isko na chero, toot jaega.
And cue larayi between the ammi and the shopkeeper once you hear the thing breaking.
3. Baji sirf aap kay liye Rs 200 ka hai.
Like what? Why? Am I special?
4. Bhai jaan! Bhabi kay liye kuch pasand kar len.
Muft mashwaray ka bohat shukriya.
5. Aalo ley lo, teenday ley lo, gajar ley lo…
The rhythmic selling style of mobile fruit and vegetable sellers. Aisa lag raha hai ke koi ratta hua gaana hai.
6. Yeh maal subah hi aaya hai baji ji. Bilkul fresh!
The shopkeeper ensuring fresh arrival of the stock for a month.
7. Baji yeh design dekhen. Baji woh design latest Indian film me Kareena Kapoor nay pehna tha.
The shopkeeper makes every possible deliberate attempt to sell his items.
8. Bhaijaan meri baari kab aaegi?
That helpless shopper standing and waiting for long in the counter line for payment.
9. Baji apnay bachhy ko sambhal len.
Those restless kids never leave a single chance to embarrass their parents.
10. Bhai sahib jaldi kar len please, hamein zaroori kahin aage pohnchan hai.
Inko hamesha jaldi hoti hai.
11. Aap poora shehar bhi ghoom len, aesi quality aapko kahin nahi mily gi.
Top quality assurance! With no ISO certificate.
12. Bhai jaan aap tasalli rakhen, cheez damage nikly, quality khraab ho, hum zimmedaar hen.
Trust factory zaroori hai.
13. Udhaar mohabbat ki qenchi hai
Sorry, we don’t accept credits. Business policies matter after all.
14. Camera ki aankh aapko dekh rahi hai.
It is sometimes just a lame effort to threaten the customer to abide by the rules.
15. Baji barey dino baad bhai ki yaad aayi aapko!
Itniii frankness!! How and when?
16. Chotay, sahib k liye chai lao.
The protocol some shopkeepers give to their loyal customers, or to make long-term customers.
17. Baji aap qasam utha len, itni to hamari khareed b nahi.
Sir aap apney liye nahi kuch pasand karen gay?
I bet that’s what you want, don’t you?
19. Yeh last time eyebrows kidhar say banwaeen theen aap nay? Satiyanass kar diya usnay aapka!
Ah, yes. The beauty police. They’re everywhere.
20. Yeh color baji pe bohat suit karey ga.
Hmm, I wonder why.
21. Mera wallettt!!
Kahani har ghar ki!
22. Yaar yeh bohot mehnga hai. Price kam karein.
OMG! The prices!!! Desis are found to be constantly complaining about high prices yet at the same time, they’re always out shopping too.
23. Na tera, na mera. Best price.
24. Light chali gai na baji, isliye aapka suit late hogya. Aapko to pata hai bijli kitna tang karti hai.
And the drama continues!
25. Bhai yeh bachha aapka hai?
And the never-ending story of a lost child in the big, bad bazaar.
In short, jitney munh, utni baatein. Have you ever been experienced or witnessed the same? Waiting anxiously to know about your shopping experiences and stories. So don’t hesitate to share, because sharing is caring.
Cover image via MangoBaaz/YouTube