The heartbreaking story of Asma Aziz, a Lahori woman who was tortured by her husband for refusing to dance for his friends has left the nation enraged and shocked.

The couple has been married for 4 years and Asma recalled that it was not the first time she has been beaten but this time it reached a new extent. Her husband, Faisal, stripped her naked in front of their helpers, shaved her hair, burnt it in front of her. He beat her with pipes, and hung her to the fan, threatening to kill her.

Her husband and his friends who witnessed the abuse and took part have been arrested.

Asma Aziz's husband Main Faisal & his friend Rashid Ali is arrested by Punjab Police, trimmers recovered. Investigation is underway! 🙏👏

Husband with his friends tortured his wife with pipes & shaved her head on refusal to dance before his friends. #JusticeForAsmaAziz pic.twitter.com/jzjIU7H1UD

— Affan Idrees (@iamAffanIdrees) March 27, 2019

And although many Pakistanis condemned her husbands’ actions…

How beautiful she looked and what this animal has done to her! Punish him the same way, may be more than that. Please!

— 𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕚𝕔 𝔹𝕠𝕞𝕓 (@L0gicB0mb) March 27, 2019

…many are blaming her as well.

A recent video of her dancing previously has resurfaced and many are now resorting to victim-blaming, shaming the victim, almost as if trying to justify the brutality Asma faced.

The lady who was saying till yesterday was forced to dance
Today everyone saw that she was doing dance and other wrong acts by herself

— کھچڑی (@Ahmed__israr) March 29, 2019

O well phir tau theek ho gaya. She deserved to be treated like she has been treated 👍🏾

— Marvi Sirmed (@marvisirmed) March 29, 2019

The fact that some people consider it okay for her to be treated with such inhumane brutality because of a video sheds light on this horrifying and absolutely disgusting mentality that exists which seeks to blame the victim, especially if she’s a woman.

Many are justifying her husbands’ actions based on the fact that she previously has danced. Whether or not she is a professional dancer or has danced for his friends in the past – that’s her prerogative and her choice. Does that strip her of her choice to say no? Absolutely not. Does that make her someone who should have been beaten? No. Her actions and choices change NOTHING. She said no. And that should be respected. Her husband should have never asked her twice let alone commit the horrific acts he did.

Our country has this existing mentality that once someone is married, there is no consent. Whether this stands for house chores or sex, it seems that husbands can’t wrap their heads around it. Marital rape is extremely common as well, and this has to change.

But what’s most shocking is how people, who have seen her in her final state, are using an old video to blame and shame her.

And she says, she is tortured on refusal of dance !!
What's she doing this ???#AsmaAziz ! pic.twitter.com/CauPWaeb7h

— Bilal Qureshi (@BilalQu06594783) March 29, 2019

Love marriage or not – does it even matter?

For some reason, publications in Pakistan are mentioning it was a love marriage, as if this is extremely significant. And out of all arguments, this is the most useless one. The girl needs to choose better? How about you say that the man needs to be better, act better and not be a despicable excuse of a human being, to begin with?

Also, let’s get one thing straight – marriage is a gamble. Blaming her for her husband’s vicious attacks is definitely not okay, let alone correct. Marrying someone you love, is an act of courage and it’s following your heart. There’s no shame in a love marriage, and actually, it just shows how much she believed in him. She had no idea whether or not he would do this, just like she wouldn’t know if it was arranged. So how do you get to that argument, in the first place?

Most of the #lovemarriages end just like that, love-package💝💝💝 already expired even b4 wedlock, & recharge impossible, aur abhi aurat ko azaadi chahiye #AuratMarch

— zakki @Li _S (@FaysalMs2012) March 27, 2019

We have to stop encouraging victims to return to their abusers.

A reporter for City 42, who interviewed the victim, Asma, had the audacity to ask Asma if she would forgive her husband and fall in love with him again if he apologized in court.

I never comment on other journalists,but this one on City 42 has left me dumbstruck with his insensitivity & lack of ethics.He just asked Asma Aziz (woman humiliated & beaten by her husband)if her love for her husband can be reignited if he apologises to her in court! pic.twitter.com/QyFO2C6sRE

— Munizae Jahangir (@MunizaeJahangir) March 28, 2019

One of the hardest things to do as a domestic violence victim is to leave their abuser. Many survivors are forced by society and even their own families to return to their abusive relationships just to save face from divorce. But isn’t it better to be divorced than dead or mentally/emotionally/physically tortured? Our society is very patriarchal and is quick to slap labels like “fussy” or “dramebaaz” to women while stating that “men will be men.” Yeah, that’s the kind of mentality we need to do away with.

Some are even resorting to blaming drugs for the Asma’s husband’s actions. But do drugs really take you to that extent? And if so, rehabilitation should be resorted to, not violence. If she is also a drug addict, as claimed, then why is she in the right mindset, why is she seeking help?

Everyone was High on ICE . What did they expect???

— Alpha Foxtrot (@AlphaFoxtrot12) March 28, 2019

“What did they expect?”

As if, a woman, who goes out with her husband, should expect to be mistreated if he chooses to indulge in drugs. How ridiculous and absurd.

Our society consists of quite a few misogynistic people. But there’s still hope. Some continue asking for justice for Asma.

Justice for Asma Aziz please.

The culprits deserve extreme punishments for this shameful act.

— Haseeb Arshad (@HaseebTweets) March 29, 2019

Husband of #AsmaAziz has been arrested along with his friend for assaulting and torturing her. No mercy should be shown to assaulters.They deserve severe punishment.Her hair will grow back,her skin will heal but she might never be able to get over the abuse & trauma💔#StopAbuse pic.twitter.com/jHnyg5m9W2

— SYEDA TUBA AAMIR (@TubaAtweets) March 27, 2019

While others, with larger platforms, like Jibran Nasir, took to Twitter to address the problem at hand, contesting the mindset that is prevalent.

Aurat nachay, ya us ka boyfriend ho, ya jeans pehnay to kia woh hamari hamdardi ke qabil nahi rehti? Kia mardon se maar pernay pe takleef sirf un aurton ko hoti hai jin ko pidar shahi ki daldal main phasay hamare mashray ne ba kirdaar honay certificate dia ho? Har aurat insan hai

— M. Jibran Nasir (@MJibranNasir) March 29, 2019

Statistically, around 5000 women are killed in Pakistan every year because of domestic violence. Countless others are maimed or disabled. Furthermore, there are cases that are simply never reported. Women aren’t wrong here. Those numbers alone should put us to shame and make us realize that it’s time we held men accountable for their actions, instead of seeking ways to blame the victims of torture.

Our views need to be less insensitive, and we have to stop trying to find arguments to blame women because it’s high time we own up that a man can be wrong.

This Lahori Woman’s Husband Allegedly Shaved Her Head For Refusing To Dance For His Friends