Our most important relationships revolve around our family and friends. We tend to rely on these relationships for affection and support.

However, there are times when our loved ones can actually do more harm than good, even if they try to mean well. Here’s how:

1. When they don’t understand your perspective because they’re blinded by their idea of what’s best for you

Often in relationships, we realize that not everyone has the ability to fully grasp the other’s perspective. However, this may leave us feeling isolated. We may end up feeling that if there is no one to understand us, we are alone.

2. When they undermine your ideas because they think they know what’s better for you

At times, they may talk down to you for your perspective or dismiss it altogether. This dismissal may make you feel misunderstood or maybe even stupid. You start thinking twice about voicing your thoughts and may start second guessing yourself.

3. When they expect too much from you

In close knit relationships, more often than not, our loved ones may burden us with their expectations. Your expectations, aspirations and dreams may end up being sidelined. This may not only lead to dissatisfaction with one’s life, but also a certain level of resentment.

4. And then tell you how you’re disappointed because you couldn’t fulfill their expectations

5. When they impose their way of thinking on you

We cannot always agree with our loved ones, and that’s completely okay. What isn’t okay is if they try to force their opinions and way of thinking on you.

6. When they try to keep you sheltered all the time

Our loved ones worry about us, and that’s great. However, they may cross a line while being protective and end up imposing restrictions that truly isolate us. In doing so, they take bits of your freedom away, as well as the ability to experience new things and learning by making your own mistakes.

7. When they’re so protective of you from the world outside they forget that there may be danger within your home

By keeping us protected from the world, they forget that sometimes danger exists within one’s own house. Unfortunately, in their efforts of protecting us, they may end up exposing us to more danger.

8. When they take advantage of the fact that their opinion matters the most to you

People can be manipulative at times to get their way. They may not mean to be, but that’s how it is. With close relationships, we tend to be impacted the most by what our loved ones say. Some of us may shape our entire lives trying to please our loved ones. This takes away from our individuality. We’re also constantly waiting for the ax to fall in the shape of disapproval or rebuke.

9. When they almost take away your independence

By overriding our decisions or policing our actions, we have our independence snatched from us. This inhibits our personal growth and may affect our self esteem and confidence.

10. Or when they try to stop you from pursuing new ways to learn and grow

There are times we want to try new things. Whether it’s going on a trip alone, learning an instrument or even trying to branch out and meet new people – we may face a certain level of resistance by our loved ones. They may consider these things to be dangerous, pointless or unnecessary. However, these are all experiences that help shape our personalities – in terms of confidence or simply finding our passion. Facing this resistance sets us back.

11. When they try to stifle your creativity because they worry too much, unnecessarily 

One of the worst things our loved ones can and do actually end up doing is stifling our creativity. They may not agree with our choices or may consider them to be a waste of time. However, our creativity is a part of who we are and by forsaking it, we lose an essential part of who we are as a person.

12. When they’re constantly giving you criticism that isn’t constructive

This takes a toll on our self esteem. At a point where there is a ton of negativity around us, it is counterproductive to have those closest to us point out flaws that we cannot fix. We’re already overly critical about ourselves. We really don’t need others to add to that.

13. When they lack empathy

A lack of empathy in relationships can leave us feeling cornered, misunderstood and may cause a certain level of resentment as well. There are times where we simply need to be heard and understood. An empathic listener is the best outlet for venting and ranting. When our loved ones lack empathy, we either turn to other mediums or internalize all our anger and pain.

Relationships are not easy and must be dealt with carefully. What is meant to be done out of concern and love often causes unexpected damage that keeps building up, and is often a short step away from a mental implosion. If we encounter such situations in our relationships, it is imperative to talk about the damage it is causing or has caused. We owe it to ourselves to look out for ourselves, even when our loved ones falter at doing so.

Cover Image via: 7th Sky Entertainment