People are born in all sorts of shapes and sizes and also in differing levels of hairiness. Some of us are ‘blessed’ with a lot of hair, everywhere. It comes with its pros and cons, but mostly its cons. If you’re a hairy dude you know these things to be true:
Chain watches are a pain
You love chain watches but unfortunately they won’t love you back. The hair forest on your arm gets caught in the little gaps in the chain and tugs at your hair. It is painful, it hurts that something you love so much can give you so much pain.
People notice your hair
There is always going to be that one person who will have something about your hairiness. It’s really bad when they stay stuff like, “wow that’s a lot of hair”. Yeah I know, it’s on my body. Mind your own business, thank you.
Stuff gets stuck everywhere
Person:”Chawal khaye aaj lunch mein”
You:”Yeah, how do you know?”
*person points to chawal on your arm and chest hair*
You might want to go to a cave and die.
Selfies expose everything
If you’re the one taking the selfie, then your out-stretched hairy arm will be front and center. It’s as if all you see is hair, hair, some more hair and then a few faces.
Shorts are not your friends
It’s hot outside and pants just don’t cut it sometimes. But shorts are pretty revealing. So you’ve got to decide if you want to flaunt them legs or not. Ab mohaul ko zyada hot tou nahin karna chahiye.
3 quarters it is. hairy legs thoo #Guyproblems
— ZM (@Carefreemember) May 31, 2013
You attract a lot of ‘static’
It’s as if the law of physics hates us. Hairy people are more susceptible to accumulating static charge, leading to more of those random bijli ke jhatkay you get.
SHEDDING. And lot’s of it!
Some people along with being hairy also have hair fall. All it takes is a little itch and tiny hair start raining all over the place. It’s like you’re leaving a little part of yourself everywhere you go.
Chest hair doesn’t like being hidden.
The annoying thing about chest hair is that it doesn’t stay in. Button up till the top most button and guess what, no luck. They still show up, mocking your efforts to conceal them. Why must they be so cruel?
— Brandon Elliott (@elliottbran) October 8, 2014
More hair = More Maintenance
Not the good type of maintenance. Extra hair means extra scrubbing and making sure all the sweat remnants and other general yucky-ness. Basically cleaning up is no easy task 🙁
Suggestions to get the laser hair removal are thrown your way
Your internal monologue while they detail the procedure would sound something like this, ‘Super happy for you now hairless male relative but this is not for me. KBye’
Your friends (and also, mean strangers) make fun of your pagal hair scene
You may want to curl up into a little ball and cry but don’t. That’s the last thing you want to do. Shame the haters away. They’re just jealous.
When unhairy guys pick on you just remember: they're jealous of your magnificent locks of arm pit hair
— Hairy Guy Problems (@HairyGuyProblem) June 10, 2012
Bandages don’t really work
For a bandage to work it needs to have contact with your skin. When you’re hairy, they may not always happen!
Hairy guy problems: The bandage on my knee is loose because it hasn't actually stuck to my skin.
— Youssef (@YAGawad_) October 24, 2013
You always need to shave
— Corey Helberg (@CoreyHelberg) May 15, 2014
With all that said and done, you find your comfort with being hairy and learn to block out the unnecessary voices. May you and your baal be happy forever 🙂
Cover Image via: samaa.tv