Goras are a rare sight in Pakistan (not you, Islamabad, sit down), so naturally, when people see a gora they get a little excited. Especially if this person is an English-Speaking desi burger. It’s at that point where you realize that this is what you’ve been preparing for your whole life.
1. You finally feel like you have someone to talk to in Ainglish (aka your mother tongue)
It’s like it was fate for the two of you to be there in that place at that time.
2. You think of all the ways you can approach them
Kya boloun isko ja ker? I have to make it seem like a coincidence..and not planned..shit…
3. You play out all possible conversations with them in your head
Hi, do you need any help?
Hi, are you new here?
Hey, help you need?
4. You wonder if they lost their path on their way to India
So you literally go up to them and ask ‘are you lost?’
5. You try thinking of how to help them in the best possible way so you can successfully show the “softer side” of Pakistan
Translating the shopkeeper’s baatein or helping them escape the police walas’ jhanjatt.
6. You start daydreaming about the blog they’re going to write about you when they goes back to their country
“…a lot of people have misconceptions about Pakistan. I met one young person from Pakistan who changed my entire perception of the country..”
7. You (girl, you) wonder if y’all will fall in love and you can finally have one of those cool Facebook pages wali shaadi where the dulha is a gora
Goray ka sehra suhaana lugta hai
You can’t wait to teach them how to say kya haal hai to Shiny Khaala.
8. You try talking to them but then you stop because you still haven’t decided what you’re going to say
9. You rehearse your lines in your head a couple of times over
Okay one last time, what are we going to say?
10. Fuck fuck fuck they’re looking at you – AWKWARDLY SMILE
YE THA KYA? He’s going to think I’m a creep. Abort abort abort (unless he’s an American because they’re not allowed lololol)
11. There, you messed up, what was that smile, even?
That looked painful, bro. Walk away walk away..
12. Okay. Deep breath. Approach.
One step at a time.
13. And then you make the contact:
You: Hey, you need help?
Them: No thanks, I’m waiting for a friend.
There, that wasn’t so hard, was it? *dies internally*
Hey burgers, have you ever fangirled or fanboyed over a gora in Pakistan? Let us know the tales of your debacle in the comments down below.
Cover image via jolienews.files.wordpress.com