15 Fazool Misconceptions Pakistanis Have About Suhaag Raat That Aren't True AT ALL

By Aam Nawab | 9 Feb, 2019

Suhaag raat misconceptions, anyone?

Pakistan has topped the list of porn-searching countries for a while now. That says a lot considering we don’t get basic sex education, so we do the next best thing: self-educate. And let’s be real, porn isn’t the best way to learn. Porn creates a fantasy of human sexuality where hairless, unblemished people with perfect bodies, do IT in front of the camera.

In a society where the mention of sex is frowned upon, most of us get our sexual education by watching porn. This leads to misconceptions about sex that surprise us when we finally, you know, do it. Without further ado, here are a few misconceptions that will make you go haw-haye *wink wink*

1. Women are ready to do it without foreplay

Source: Red Chillies Entertainment

Contrary to popular belief, sex without foreplay can be painful for women. Kuch tou mehnat karo yaar!

2. Pubic hair is gross and doesn’t exist

Source: Salman Khan Films

Sorry to burst your bubble but body hair is completely normal and the people in Pakistan do not have non-existent golden hair. No one is hairless down there, and some people prefer not to be. Not to mention long hair does get in the way.

3. Men can last for an hour or more, particularly on their suhaag raat

Source: Sol Productions

Umm, no? Pretty impossible to last that long considering our already minimal sexual experiences. Let’s not forget that porn is people acting out sex FFS!

4. Women can orgasm from penetration

Source: Balaji Motion Pictures

Researches have been conducted to debunk this myth. Only 25% of all women can orgasm solely from penetration. LOOK IT UP!

5. Your suhaag raat is supposed to be loud

Source: Yash Raj Films

Sex is a private matter in Pakistan. It takes place really secretively or in a house filled with people. Aur waisay bhi, sab ko shauk nahi uncha cheekhnay ka.

6. The bigger, the better. Oh yeah that’s one of the biggest suhaag raat misconceptions

Source: Sanjay Leela Bhansali Films

Of all the misconceptions about sex, this has to be one of the biggest (pun intended). If you know your way around the *ahem* kitchen, then it’s the dish you serve that matters. iykwim.

7. Trying different positions is super easy is another one of suhaag raat misconceptions. Be prepared

Source: Dharma Productions

Unless you know what you’re doing, they aren’t really a walk in the park. Most Pakistani’s are noobs when it comes to sex, it’s just better to not experiment without some experience.

8. Paseena tou ata he nahi hai!

Source: Sol Productions

Women in porn have perfect hair and makeup that remains flawless even after sex because apparently, the human body is incapable of sweating *facepalm*.

9. The gag reflex doesn’t exist

Source: Dharma Productions

Au contraire. The gag reflex is very real, and gross. So please make sure the other person is comfortable!

10. If the woman says ‘no’, she definitely wants it

Source: Yash Raj Films

Yeh tou Bollywood movies bhi sikhati hain but please remember kids, CONSENT IS IMPORTANT!

11. Women like it rough

Source: HUM Television Network

Yes, some women like it rough. But they’ll specify it to you. Khud Christian Grey banne mat niklo, please. Again, consent is important.

12. The woman will like whatever the man is doing has got to be one of the most common suhaag raat misconceptions, especially for the boys

Source: Disney Films

The basic rule of sex: COMMUNICATION! Ask the woman what she wants maybe? It’s a two-way street, honey.

13. Aurtein fawwara hain.

Source: gifimage.net

Porn will have you believe that women are ready to orgasm at the slightest touch. (So will most Karan Johar movies.) This is not true. It takes time and work. Mehnat karlo thori.

14. Every woman looks like a piece of art

Via Giphy

Sorry, not every woman looks like what you see on screen. Sure, some might. And that’s cool. And some might not. That’s cool too. But, thora realistic hojayein.

15. Protection? Woh kya hai?

Source: Warner Bros. Television

Porn will have you believe that pregnant hona toh kisi aur ki problem hai. Other than that, let’s not forget about STDs. Use protection at all costs.

I mean let’s face it. People here watch porn. But why should we depend on something that unreliable to understand sex? Sexual education should be made mandatory and for reasons that extend beyond just the act itself. There’s a lot people don’t understand about diseases, conditions and sexual health. Toh VPN band karein, and asli issue pe dehaan dein. Thanks.

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Cover image via express.co.uk

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