As the youngest child and the only sister of two elder brothers, I always had certain responsibilities when it came to Eid.
I was supposed to do a lot of Eid day chores and help my mom with everyday household tasks – which I hardly did. Lol. The argument which I used to give to my mom was always “Agar mainay apna kaam karna hai, toh bhaiyon ko bhi kahein kay woh apnay hissay ka kaam karein”.
I used to claim this whether it was a matter of ironing clothes, washing dishes, making my own bed or polishing school shoes. My mother hardly asked my brothers to contribute and I also benefited from it, by always saying that if they will do their part, I will do my job.
With the passage of time, things started changing. From the youngest child in my home, I eventually became the eldest bahu.
It was not just the shift of designation or role, but the shift of responsibilities too. Although I don’t live with my in-laws, I still have to manage my home. As a Home Minister (as my husband calls me,) I have to look after each and every aspect of my home and its residents.
When special occasions arrive, like that of Ramazan, Eid planning goes side by side. Earlier, when I used to plan how I’ll spend my Eidi, now my planning includes what to give as Eidi to my in-laws, friends and friends’ children. I hardly ever get any Eidi now, which is one of the saddest aspects of Eid after marriage.
Kaun kia pehne ga? Kya khaye ga? Kaun humare ghar aayega? Hum kis kay ghar jaen gay? This is all on me.
The invitation list, managing food, deciding menus, making meetha – all such matters had never been a headache for me before marriage. During my graduation, I sometimes made a dessert or a salad for parties and it was the biggest ehsaan I thought I was doing.
Moreover, I’d always set the table happily. But now, it is just a shift of time. Everything which my mother used to do is now repeated at my home by me.
My 180 degree Eid shift doesn’t just end there.
I had to start placing my Eid shopping and prep below that of everyone else’s. Kids and husband had to be placed first. It does not mean that marriage makes me dull, old or like my all wishes have died or remain unfulfilled, but I think it’s just the focus which has now shifted from solely myself to my family as a whole.
Now, being very particular about my outfit or get-up, I have to think a lot about my children’s appearance. It’s not just me anymore. It’s all our looks that matter.
It’s very hard to say which Eid I enjoy the most.
It’s between a care-free, responsibility-free Eid and an Eid that’s full of planning and work. I think both have their own charms. It’s always good to have a change and to try to enjoy every moment life brings to me. So, if I forget to call my all friends to wish them a Happy Eid this year too because of my Home Minister commitments, please forgive me. Eid Mubarak to you all anyway.
Cover image via Sana Younas