Picture this: There are two individuals who like each other. They’re pseudo-scening; flirting, making plans with each other in all their free time and what not – but no one’s addressed the elephant in the room yet.
The guy’s considering asking the girl out. The girl’s waiting for the guy to ask her out. Par dono ko proper signal ka intezaar hai to get into a relationship. Larkay ki phat rahi hai, because what if she says no, right? And the girl – she’s just waiting, flirting back, sending some pretty heavy signals. Yeh sab hum movies main bhi dekhtay hain. My question is – why do desi women need to wait for men to make the first move? Are we not past the only-guys-can-ask-girls-out mindset yet? In all seriousness, here’s why desi women should not hesitate in asking out the men they like:
Mind games kachra hain
To an extent, mind games theek hain – when you’re testing waters and being cautious, for example. But at the end of the day, they’re just that – games. Why try to one-up each other (if there’s some level of trust) when you can just be honest?
It’s better than being stuck in a never-ending limbo
There is nothing more infuriating than a will-they-won’t-they situation. You’re unsure, you start over analyzing everything and you’re anxious about what to say and how to say it. All for nothing, too, since you have no idea where it’s all going.
Lead on karna/hona is pretty shitty
Being led on sucks. Leading someone on is just evil. It’s better to make the first move and get out of that situation. At least you’ll know, right?
You feel pretty empowered
To all the desi women reading this – asking someone out is super empowering. You make a conscious decision, you know what you want and you go get it. You allow yourself a certain level of control, too – of your life, that is.
You get to boast about it
Seriously, you get to boast about this A LOT. Besides, it portrays you to be a strong woman who knows what she wants. And, who doesn’t want bragging rights?
Confidence levels ke liye kaafi useful hota hai
Once you overcome that initial hesitation and take the first step, stuff gets easier. And, you feel pretty confident knowing you overcame a mental block and fear.
Break the norm
You shouldn’t be afraid of revolting against the age-old norm where men ask women out. Bohot purani thinking hai. Women should be just as uninhibited as men. Besides, honestly, if you like someone, problem kya hai ask out karne main?
There’s no shame in going after what you want
If you know something or someone is going to make you happy, it’s okay to take the first step. Logon ki baatein na suno. That’s all background noise.
Larkon ko break de dou
I mean, it’s not solely their duty. Also, some of them don’t get the signals you’re sending their way, while others may not have the confidence to ask you out. Becharon ko break de dou.
It’s better than waiting around
Why wait for something to happen when you make it happen yourself? Isn’t it better to save yourself all the trouble? Fazool main expectations rakhne se behtar hai you make the first move and get it over with. Seriously, fazool dramay ka point nahi hai.
Time bachao, yaar
Honestly, who has the time anymore to sit around analyzing every ‘hey’ or ‘hi.’ Ab toh itna time kisi ke paas nahi hota. Time bachao, khudi ask out karlo.
What’s the worst that can happen?
Okay, so chances are – if you guys like each other, it’ll be a yes. But chalo, even if he turns you down, is that really the absolute worst possible thing that can happen? Good riddance and what not, you know? At least you can stop wasting your time and move on.
Therefore, beloved desi women – let’s just agree to get over the idea that men need to ask us out. The concept’s getting old, and we really can’t expect men to keep doing all the work, haina? What’s your take on this? Let us know in the comments.
We Asked People In Pakistan Their Most Awkward First Date Stories And Here’s What They Revealed
These Are The Struggles You’ll Face If You’re Even Thinking Of Dating In Pakistan
Cover image via LUX