Dieting is no joke. Some people take it way too seriously because of either health reasons or because they have to look or be thinner to feed their vanity. For this purpose there are many, many diets that have are touted to give you your desired figure (which rarely happens, btw) within months, weeks or even days.
Here are some of the craziest diets that people have actually tried:
1. The Juice Cleanse
No solid food and a diet that makes you lose 10 pounds in 3 days? Nu-uh. Sounds shady af.
2. The Charcoal Cleanse
This one’s basically just drinking activated charcoal which apparently your body can’t process so it passes through and takes toxins liquids but WTF because it’s going inside and it’s not being processed…
3. The Baby Food Diet
Eating 16 odd jars of baby food a day? Have you seen the weird gunk babies eat? I’m surprised parents still let them eat food that expires 2 years after the manufacturing date.
4. The Vision Diet
This one’s my favorite. So you wear blue shades while eating anything. The whole idea is to make food seem less appetizing. People who like eating, eat anything, regardless of color. The biggest downside to this diet, however, is being seen in those blue shades in public.
5. The Clip-Your-Nose Diet
Not only will this offend everyone around you, it will also make you look like an idiot. The only time you should ever clip your nose while ingesting anything is when you’re drinking milk, cuz ew.
6. The Raw Food Diet
No, not zinda murghi, but uncooked vegetables and fruits. So basically become a vegetarian and don’t cook them veggies.
7. The Cotton-Ball/Tissue Paper Diet
Yeeeep. Just as weird as it sounds. Basically, what you have to do is eat around 5 cotton balls dipped in orange juice in one sitting. The aim? Apart from giving you stomachache for days, is to fill you up without actually consuming calories. Hey, they already invented that. It’s called drinking water.
8. The Air Diet
Does exactly what it says. Endorsed by Madonna, the Air Diet suggests that human beings can live solely on sunlight. So that’s all you take in. Good luck in winters, though.
9. The Drunk Diet
Drink. Exercise. Repeat. Pakistan mein tau bilkul bhi na try kerein ye, cuz…fatwa..
10. The Werewolf Diet
You’d think this diet requires you to go all Jacob on people, but unfortunately, it’s not half as much fun as it seems. The diet basically consists of fasting for 24 hours during the full moon and then there’s instructions of what else to eat. Also, gravity has a part to play in this.
11. The Prayer Diet
This one we desis know how to do. Dua maango wazan ghat jaye ga. Aameen.
If you’re sick and tired of dieting, here’s something you’ll relate to:
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Please don’t lose your mind while you’re trying to lose weight. Thanks.
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