Mehmaan might be rehmat like the ghar ke barray would like you to believe but nowhere is it written that you’re supposed to like that barkat.
They come unannounced, ruining your afternoon nap, your evening plans along with your mood. Those cheese samosas you’ve been wanting to have by yourself are going to be eaten by these randos and obv that’s going to sting a little bit. But worry not, you’re not the only one.
Here’s a few things each and every Pakistani ever who’s dealt with bin bulaye mehmaan would know to be true AF:
1. When you hear the door bell ring at the most inconvenient hour.
2. The dread of having to be of service while the mehmaan are here
3. Getting instructed to wear “dhangg ke kapre” for the mehmaan
Burqa pehn ke baith jaoun?
4. “Where’s your dupatta?”
5. All the dinner sets you’ve never ever had the opportunity to drink chaaye in miraculously appear.
6. When you have to make your first appearance.
(pushing your siblings to go in before you)
7. Hoping (praying) these mehmaan didn’t bring kids along so you don’t have to give them company.
8. Smiling constantly for the mehmaan until your jubra hurts.
9. Answering questions be like:
“grades kya hein”
(mere bachay ke tou 9000/100 aaye hein)
“agay ke kya plans hein”
(allah naseeb achay karay i.e. become a bahu, bring a bahu home)
“mein apka kya lagta hoon?”
“degree ka kya scope hai?”
“merna kub hai?”
10. When you’re asked to quickly rush to the market to get some snacks for these mehmaan
11. When you check what “gift” these mehmaan brought it’s just a pineapple cake and not the blackforest one
12. When you have to make small talk with auntie jee
13. When you find out these mehmaan are not leaving like they initially said, “hum tou bas kharray kharray aaye hein”
14. When you use your phone and get ghoorofied by your parents.
15. When you touch the patties and get ghoorofied by your mom.
16. When your mom leaves the drawing room and there’s awk silence between you and these mehaan
17. When these mehmaan say “itni takalluf kyun ki hai” and then eat EVERYTHING.
18. When your parents invite them to stay for dinner and they say, “yes”
Damn, another 3 hours…
To all the mehmaans of the world, please CALL before coming over. That’s the least you can do.
To everyone out there dealing with this misery, hang in there.
13 Types of Mehmaan That Visit Every Pakistani Home
Cover image via: Unilever Pakistan