Everyone has had brought about kitchen disasters at some point in their lives – irrespective of gender, age or experience. Exploding pressure cookers, wreaking unclean-able havoc in the kitchen or simply burning the whole place down – no one is born perfect when it comes to that.
Here we have listed down quite a few kitchen disasters that will either make you cringe or amuse you to the point that you can’t help but laugh:
1. Sweet “sweet” Haleem
So my Dadi, who was apparently a pro in the kitchen, once made a daig load of Haleem. After hours and hours of hard labor, the freshly brewed Haleem was loaded into dishes and distributed in the entire neighborhood. However, the first spoonful of the mouthwatering Haleem, during dinner, was enough to apprehend that the Haleem was seasoned with sugar instead of salt.
The next day, when the entire daig of Haleem was given to the garbage-collector, he happily asked: “Kia baat hai? Aaj har ghar say Haleem mil rahi hai.”
2. Hail the newbies
The newbies are the best source of entertainment in the field of kitchen disasters. There was this health-conscious newbie (a friend of a relative), who cracked an egg in a pan waiting for it to fry itself without oil or flame. When the egg stayed its ground, she finally realized she hasn’t turned on the flame. Just as the flame was ignited, the oil-less egg exploded ornating the nearby wall and ceiling with its bits and pieces. So much for the oil-free diet.
3. Burn baby burn
A friend of mine, Atiya Abbas, shared one of her kitchen disasters from her days in the United States living alone. She says, she was cooking in the kitchen when she decided to make tea for herself. She turned on the burner and walked away only to find the apartment filling up with smoke minutes later. In her own words,”I was like WTF! I ran to the kitchen area and saw the whole colander melting into the burner. I hid it for two whole years and then paid $160 to fix it after moving out.” Way to go Atiya!
4. Baby, You’re a Firework
Another friend woke up one morning and decided to have the leftover of last night’s takeaway dinner. Either she was too naive or simply brain dead because she put the whole foil container in the microwave to heat up. Minutes after starting the timer the microwave caught fire and she blacked out in panic.
The next thing she knows, she woke up to half of the family hovering over her and the rest inspecting the burnt down microwave. Boy, did she have an earful… you can bet!
5. That little brat
An aunty shared one of her many long forgotten kitchen disasters from her daughter’s first birthday. The aforementioned aunty threw a grand birthday party at home and was making trifle for dessert, when the guests started pouring in. She left the serving dishes filled with trifle to cool down and hurried off to get ready. Half an hour later when she entered the kitchen, she had her nightmare playing right before her eyes. There was custard everywhere and her all-dolled-up baby girl was smothered in custard from head to toe. And she only had the time to either clean up the birthday girl or make a new dessert.
Well, to make the long story short, the guests had to savour what was left of the trifle.
6. Apparently, glass is not heat-resistant
Some people can be too imbecile to be true, at times. There was this girl, who quite conveniently covered a heating pot with a glass platter (a decoration piece to be precise). Seconds after she left the kitchen after her legendary act, she heard a loud crack. On rushing back to the kitchen she found shards of glass everywhere – the floor, the stove and most importantly within the food that was cooking in the pot.
7. Drop it like a bomb
My cousin shared her brother’s stunt that ended up as a kitchen disaster. Apparently it was a special occasion and in its honour it was suppose to be a special dinner that night. So a lavish dinner was prepared, the table was set, and the younger brother was ordered to bring the dish on the table. Just as the already excited brother, acting like a professional maître d’hôtel, brought the dish before the diners it slipped out of his hands and crash landed on the floor.
They ended up having boiled rice and yogurt for dinner. That’s what we call a pro at kitchen disasters!
8. The rotten chicken
Another friend, Hareem Kausar, shared her disaster story. She bought about 5 kgs of chicken for a party the next day and washed it all up to save time for the coming day. With half the work done, she went to bed in relief.
Next morning she woke up to a bad smell, only to realize that she had forgotten to put the washed up chicken in the freezer. According to her, “the Lahore summer had already cooked it to disaster.”
9. Perfect revenge for rishta guests
Whether this was an intentional disaster or an unintentional one, can’t say for sure. This girl, either due to nervousness or as a revenge, served salted tea to the rishta guests.
Well, the girl or the family never heard from them again. Good riddance.
10. Reptile for dinner
Once, while cooking, the cook forgot to cover the pot and later found a dead lizard lying on top of the food. Thanks for the added proteins!
11. The Mysterious Case of Exploding Eggs
My husband once tried to heat up a boiled egg in a microwave oven. Consequently, the egg exploded into bits and pieces in the microwave.
12. Burnt down to ashes
My friend, Parwarsha Arshad, once put the kettle to boil and totally forgot that there once existed a kettle and a stove. Ultimately, the kettle was burnt down to the point where it had to be thrown out because, as she said, “manjnay say bhi koi faida nahi tha.”
13. Flooded with guilt
Let’s just say I’m no lily-white when it comes to kitchen disasters. I have my fair share of adventures in the given territory. So let me share my most prominent one.
Being a part of a typical Karachi household, we were facing water shortage at the time. After clearing up the kitchen post dinner and putting all the dirty plates in the sink I turned on the tap to check for water and forgot to close it after finding out that the pipes were all dried up (the water supply was due late at night that day). Late in the night my Mom woke up to go to the bathroom and when she set her foot on the floor, she felt water under her feet. As she switched on her bedroom lights, there was water everywhere. She rushed into the lounge and found the entire house flooded with water. As a matter of fact, the plates in the kitchen sink had blocked the drain, which had resulted in overflowing.
Within minutes the entire house was up holding wipers, buckets and towels at four in the morning. After hours of wiping out water and transferring it into buckets via towels, the council sat down to find the culprit. Being the youngest, I was the first suspect and was instantaneously charged guilty by the council. However, after a session of scathing and warning, the matter was disposed off .
All the same, I have my own methods of overcoming mistakes – I make them more than once just to be sure. Staying true to myself, I did the same thing again a few days later. But this time, I was the only one draining out the water.
What are some of your worst kitchen disasters?
Cover image via: Lemon Max / dailymotion.com