Relationships are never easy. There will be indescribable highs and intolerable lows throughout. You’ll be attached to your significant other one day, and feel like you don’t really know them the next. It’s all about finding your way through with the one you love, because if you happen to finally have found someone who feels like home in this incredibly messy life, then don’t ever give up on them.
Here are 15 of the best relationship tips I’ve been given and I’m passing on to you:
1. You’re on the same team and you both always have each other’s back.
Root for each other, be strong backbones and strive to bring out the best possible versions of each other. That is what love is about.
2. Sometimes people who love each other can hurt each other’s feelings without meaning to and that’s okay.
Edgar Allen Poe once wrote, “years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.” A fight isn’t a reason to run away. It’s in the struggles where true love stands strong – make the effort to work things through and not give up.
3. Don’t stop dating each other after getting married.
Never fall into a routine, because it’s routines that blow out the spark. Escape, explore and always try new things. Fall in love all over again. Relive memories.
4. It should never be me vs. you.
It should always be us vs. the problem; the problem that’s staring you both straight in the face – rip it apart.
5. Be with somebody who is the first one you look for in a crowded room.
Your partner should be your best friend. If they’re not the first person you confide in, then there’s something wrong.
6. Give each other space.
I cannot emphasize this enough. Giving each other space is a healthy, necessary component of every relationship. It’s a means to an end.
7. Never hide what you feel. Communicate.
Some are more adept at expressing how they feel, while others aren’t as much. Never shy away from communicating what you’re feeling – if you do then you’re running away from the truth.
8. Never emotionally invest in someone who does not reciprocate.
Emotional investment takes a toll on all of us, and is even more profound when it’s one way. If you feel your S.O. isn’t emotionally present, then tell them.
9. Give AND take.
The key lies in the balance. “Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone – it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”
10. Make sure you’re always there for them.
Show them you care. Never worry it could come across as overbearing or burdensome. When you’re there for someone, it’s always appreciated. Give it all your heart.
11. You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep them warm.
When you’re fighting, it’s important that one remains calm and more grounded if the other is shouting and yelling.
12. Live together for a while.
Not in a haraam way, Astaghz. Even a trip out of city will do justice. You’ll really get to know each other that way. You can never tell someone’s true colors until you live together and share all responsibilities that come packaged with it.
13. A private life is a happy life, learn what to keep within just the two of you.
These days most fleeting couples flock to social media to profess their undying love for each other. That’s fine, but taking the lowkey route is much more worthwhile. Keep it in a bubble, where it’s just the two of you. Only let those you truly trust into that space.
14. Never compare your current relationship with past ones.
It’s easy isn’t it – comparing old flames with new ones. After all, we are only human and it’s very natural to compare, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of the current relationship. Learn from past mistakes, treasure all that happened, but keep it separate. Do not compare.
15. Falling in love is the easy part, it’s staying in love that is hard. So give that time, your attention and your love in order to keep it strong.
Once the honeymoon period is over, you reach a certain level of comfort with them – you no longer talk as incessantly as before, nicknames become rarer, and that enticing phase of getting to know each other fades. But that’s the fleeting part. What really matters is the time after that honeymoon period – it’s all about effort, patience and commitment.