Here's How You Can Avoid A Political Phadda With Your Relatives This Eid

By Arslan Athar | 20 Jun, 2017

Pakistanis love to discuss one of two things, food or politics. While the discussion of which restaurant has the better biryani is very important, the siyaasi guftugoo creeps up on the discussion. Slowly, you realize that some people near you support people you despise.

The big question now is, how do you avoid a full on phadda. This step-by-step guide might help in such situations:

 

Deep breath in, deep breath out

Keep saying ‘Freedom of Speech’ to yourself to calm your nerves.

Source: dawn.com

Think about the last good meal you had and how happy it made you.

Mmmhmmm biryaaaaaani. 

Source: Fashion 360

Bring up Zia-Ul-Haq’s era and everyone will agree with you

Oh chalo, common ground tou mil gaya. 

Source: Travel and Culture

Maybe bash India and the Indian cricket team a little bit

Steer conversation away from Pakistani politics: success

Source: Hindustan Times

Keep an eye out for the other conversations happening in the room so you can quickly sneak to another one if needed

If need be you should have a backup conversation to fall back on.

Source: Zee News

If you feel the topic getting political, just talk about your terrible boss

Yaar wo admi itna ghaleez hai’ 

Source: Dawn

Try finding a common friend, you all must know someone in common

Funny how every desi gathering has to have a ‘such a small world’ in it.

Source: Samaa TV

Talk about mehengai

But be careful. This has the potential to become political. One statement is all it takes to not let it go there and that is: ‘humaray zamanay mein tou’. 

Source: Economic Times

Show everyone a really ‘interesting’ video you saw on Facebook not too long ago

Distract them with funny videos that are totally irrelevant.

Source: @MaryamNSharif

And if it STILL happens, just be brave

Source: dunyanews.tv

Close your ears, and keep saying ‘lalalalalalalalala’ 

Source: tribune.com.pk

Just pretend it isn’t happening. You didn’t want the evening to go this way and you’ll take any measure to make sure it stays that way.

Whatever you do, don’t hit below the belt.

Be the larger person, its the better thing to do. Really, it is. No one wants the evening to go that way, AT ALL.

Source: unewstv

If it gets too much, leave.

You’re better than this.

Source: Hindustan Times

 

If nothing seems to be working, just get back to your biryani.

 


Cover image via: AP Photo/Anjum Naveed

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