Dear Ammi, I Love You But This Is The One Thing I Need You To Stop Doing

By Hurmat Riaz | 9 May, 2017

Dear Ammi,

It’s been long since I wrote you a letter, mostly because I can call you up, or talk to you face to face thanks to the digital age (and the fact that we live together ūüėõ but still).¬†Still, I am writing this letter to you because this is the only form of communication that helps me put my thoughts in the best way I want to convey them. And also because words have the power to heal.


Amma, it’s been twenty-five years since you had me and you’re still so worried about the smallest things, at the cost of your own self

I know, SO MUCH time has passed. It scares me as well but in a different way. Obviously not in the way. Obviously not in the way it scares you. But Amma, why are you even scared about me in the first place? I am what the law of our country recognizes as an adult.

Source: Parisi Images

You spent all those years bringing me up in this harsh, cruel yet beautiful world. Stood behind me and you’re still standing beside me.¬†I know it comes with the package of motherhood but you need to slow down with the hullabaloo of all this worrying because it has made you miss out on so much in your own life.


I know motherhood is your life and you’re used to it but my dear ammi, you’ve done your job well, for the most part. Now it’s time for you to sit back, relax and enjoy the¬†fruits of your hard work.

If one of your children is late from work, you don’t need to think that something horrible would have happened. I know the world scary, life is scary but you also know all this worrying affects your health negatively. Your blood pressure fluctuates because of all this worrying. I know that getting worried is not in your control but you also need to remember that you have raised responsible adults and you have done an amazing job. Your children, we, also know that there is someone back at home getting worried for us and as result, we get worried¬†ourselves, feeling bad about having lives of our own.

Source: Getty Images

Amma, instead of always staying by your phone, checking up on us, sending frequent text messages and wanting a reply to each one of them, why don’t you call that long lost friend of yours from college? That way you can spend your time till we’re away by actually worrying less and making meaningful connections that will put a smile on your face. And I always want to see you with a smile on your face.


Dear ammi, if you’re confident, trusting and a little carefree about our lives, it’ll make us confident and carefree in our lives, as well.


Children don’t just inherit genes from their parents but also personality traits. If you’re always cautious and worried, then we would always be worried and we will not be able to experience life to its fullest. Most of our decisions and life choices depend upon your reaction to them. You want us to fly high but you want us to be careful about it. No one flies high if they’re constantly worried that something might happen to them.¬†So, loose your nerves a little and stop worrying that much about tiniest details of life.


And last, but also kinda’ sorta’ the most important thing that you worry too much about unnecessarily is¬†MERI SHAADI.

Stop worrying about it. I know it keeps you up at night. I know you’ve been looking around for potential damaads; I know whenever you go out for shopping and you see a bridal dress, you imagine me in it; but mummy, it makes me HELLA AWKWARD and this needs to stop.¬†Despite of all my education and me having just embarked on building career, I feel that I am still not the source of happiness¬†for you because I am not¬†rishta-fied yet.

Source: Gavin Farrington Photography

I know that you can’t not think¬†about it¬†but you can slow this train of thought down because this stress of yours over my marriage, makes me believe that my existence is the reason behind all of your problems. It hurts me to the core that I am being the reason behind my mother’s problems.

Please stop fretting over it, if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen at some point in my life. Who knows what the future holds?

Dear ammi, I know you’re worried about me and obviously that’s one of the countless thing I love you for, but I don’t want you to worry to the point it is a problem in you living a happy life.


And if it’s so hard for you to go back to being that young, free spirited woman again, I’ll help you with it. I have a lot of adventures planned in my mind that we can have together and live life more.

Stop worrying for a while and live a little because we have only this one life gifted to us.


Love, always

Aapki beti


This is part of our series for ‚ÄėMother‚Äôs Day‚Äô, celebrating every aspect of our lives our mothers are an integral part of. For other pieces in the series, click here.

Cover image via: Azad Film Company / Mandviwalla Entertainment

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