Attending concerts and gigs in Pakistan can be a really colorful and multi layered experience. It ‘s not only just because of the acts performing but also has a lot to do with the audience. The level of diversity present in the crowd is all so enthralling. I mean you get to meet all sorts of people at these events, some are cool, some are smart, while there are those that are not so pleasant. Either way everyone is reacting in their own unique way to the performance. After attending my share of concerts in the country, I’ve categorized the fans into some archetypes.

So without further ado, here are the types of people you see at a concert, based on my extensive research:

1. The Loud Sing Along

This person will make sure that he is more audible than the main attraction. Their motivation to sing so loudly stems from that one time they sang twinkle twinkle little star at a family gathering and got an applause from all the uncles and aunties. In their minds they believe that by singing so loudly they’ll get noticed by the ‘powers that be’ and become overnight sensations. Sadly that is rarely the case mainly since they aren’t that great singers to begin with.

2. Bad Lip Sync-er

He or she is a distant cousin of the first one. On the surface it seems that this person is well versed in all the lyrics of the songs being performed. However on close inspection it is quite clear that they rarely have the command over the language the songs are sung in. Or any language for that matter. Interestingly the ‘Loud SIng Along” and “Bad Lip Syncer” are not mutually exclusive.

3.  The Lal Meri Pat Enthusiast

No matter who’s performing, this guy is here for one reason alone, to listen to a rendition of Lal Meri Paat. Be it a rap artist, a rock group or even an EDM, this person wont be satisfied until he has listened to his favorite song.  Once the song starts playing he’ll complain for the rest of the night on how the rendition is not up to the mark. Which reminds me of…

4. The Snob

There is no pleasing this guy, all he does is complain. No matter how good the performance is, this person will always be complaining about something. These people would be heard saying “Remember the time when music was actually good” ” The drummer missed a beat by a mili second” “The guitar tone doesn’t have ‘It’ ” “The sound system is shit” ” I don’t like Pakistani music, I only listen to English songs”.

5. That Talkative Fan Boy/Girl

These people just won’t shut up about how much they love the band or singer performing. They might be the polar opposite of the snob but are equally annoying. For people who claim to be fans, these people could care careless about the music being played in front of them.

6. The Selfie Addict

God just Photoshop yourself in the concert. WHy do you even bother coming.

7. The Snapchatter

Much like the Selfie addict this person just wants to prove a point or something to his friends. Yea we get it you’re at a concert, good for you. You’re snaps don’t interest me in the slightest.

8. The Poondi Master

You should be ashamed of yourself. You are the reason that women in this country can’t have nice experiences. At least be more discrete rather than going full wehshi darinda.

9. The Uncle And Aunties

They are mostly found in Ghazal Nights and Qawalis, seen moving their heads in off time signatures. At times you come across them at rock concert where they are in the front row just sitting and being supremely bored by this naach gaana.

10. The Mosher

Mostly seen in rock concerts and tend to appear in groups. These people tend to go show their love for the music being played by being really physical with one another. At times they even become violent for some reason if the music is really aggressive.

11. The Gate Crashers

They just don’t believe in paying. While the dudes usually crash gates based on some good old gundagardi, the girls sometimes flirt and crash.

12. The Charsi

Do I even need to explain?

13. That person who actually comes to listen to music

If you think we have missed out on any, please let us know in the comment section below.

Cover image via: @diplo / Instagram