Because we are the center of the world everyone else has nothing else to do other than creating yahoodi saazishein to distract us until they can all establish their Illuminati rule. From Mathira to Meera, literally everyone is out to get the innocent Pakistani population because they know if they don’t do it, they will be made to bleed green.
So, in order to help you stay three steps ahead, we scavenged through piles and piles of what was disguised as “trash” in order to bring you the biggest yahoodi saazishein that have ever happened in Pakistan:
1. Feminism
Making women want to ask for rights? This is a conspiracy of the Zionist libtards, I tell you. They wan’t our innocent women to be led astray so they can burn all their clothes and parade naked in the streets.
2. Prisma
No one can tell you better than Samaa TV but the very fact that the app has a triangle in its logo should be proof enough.
3. Mahnoor Baloch not ageing a day over 32
No one. NO ONE can be a grandmother and look like this. If this is not the biggest saazish in the media, what else is?
4. Loading shedding is a yahoodi sazish because andhere mein kafi gul khiltay hain
They know that all bad things happen in the dark and what is worse than two hot blooded young people getting it on while the whole neighborhood is under darkness. The fact that WAPDA keeps the lights off for one whole hour at a time is proof they want the whole next generation of Pakistan to be born out of wedlock.
5. When McDonald’s refuses to deliver in the rain
Dude, you’re McDonald’s. Aik chatri nahi khareed ke de saktay apnay larkon ko?
6. Pokémon GO still not being officially available in Pakistan
Nintendo has a secret agenda against you. They have something else going on. Something so big, but obviously Geo TV will never report it because they are RAW agents, after all.
7. The fact that a samosa is so addictive that you can’t just have one
The shape is proof enough.
8. President Papa
Nothing else needs to be said, just watch this:
9. Men’s fashion in Pakistan
What monstrosity is this? Do they want us all to scratch our eyes out?
10. Mankind’s angel
This angel is actually a spy in disguise. His eyes hold the key to our hearts and that’s how he has managed to infiltrate our national nervous system.
11. Karachi traffic jams
Created by na-maloom afraad.
12. Muslim shower
Because they don’t want us to be using lotas anymore, they are invading our culture.
13. Meera ki English
This is definitely a fotu, fatu, fato, pharoo, photographic moment for our memories that we will never forget.
14. Snapchat
Why else would they invent dog filters and show us what a selfie is?
15. Sahir Lodhi
For being a China copy of Shahrukh Khan.
16. Momina Mustehsan ka jaadoo
Momina ka aisa jaadoo hua ke hum ban gaye MominaBaaz.
17. Sheikh Rasheed’s promise
18. MangoBaaz
Well, duh.
Cover Image via: Dawn.com