We all know that one uncle; the lewd little man who provocatively strokes his beard nestled in the corner of the room, while he eyes his next prey (and licks his lips in slow motion).
Whether you’ve ever been a victim of the tharki uncle cult, or if you’re still safe from their clutches, throw away your magnifying glasses because this guide’ll help you spot the tharki uncle from afar.
He has a woman with him the age of a daughter but the “familiarity” of a girlfriend
These men were not provided the necessary toy during infancy, and so the need to find life-sized human dolls is an unfortunate side effect.
And he’s still probably married for 30 years and counting, to another woman
Tharki uncle wives are an undying breed. And they know more than you think.
They are often found lurking at non-segregated gyms
Beware for the more sly ones who will be watching Sheila Ki Jawaani and Sharara Sharara on a nonstop loop on their iPad devices as they warm up for the kill.
More than one button of their shirts will always be open to reveal the glorious carpet of hair beneath
The hair is a symbolic testimony to being a true tharki uncle. The hair that sprouts upon the chest is parallel to the level of tharkiness.
Tharki uncles never hunt on their own, they’re found in packs, like wolves
They hungrily scavenge the lands in packs. When they flock together, the tharki hormone emitted is at an all-time high.
Parties are a harbor for tharki uncles to get drunk and approach young girls
It is at these havens wherein these men are treated to a feast of potential catches. They will hit on anything with a pulse.
They will begin severely hyperventilating at the sight of the opposite sex
The uncle, upon seeing a female from a distance will immediately begin to suffer from symptoms of tharki-ness, and might even start splurging out English words to impress a potential catch and reel her in.
They adore their haraam AF whisky
Whisky and scotch are staples in tharki diets. It is also part of the starter pack and is available at every tharki uncle’s house in the city.
This group of hairy species is very likely to hit on their children’s friends, preferably girls in their late teens
Do not be fooled by the hairiness, for it is a facade. Creating families are merely excuses for tharki uncles to add more eggs to their ever-growing basket.
Tharki uncle eyes simply aren’t in their control. They will continue to stare at you until the signs of qayamat pass and when Judgement Day arrives
WARNING FOR NAIVE GIRLS – DO NOT DIRECTLY LOOK INTO THARKI EYES FOR THERE IS HIGH PROBABILITY OF FALLING DEEPLY IN LOVE.
So now that you’ve been adequately warned, be careful and best of luck staying away from the tharkis. Because, we all know, whatever the age, tharak la-ilaaj hai.