Everyone seeks social validation, especially in the social media age with the need to get those likes and RTs. To seek this social validation, a lot of times young minds conform to peer pressure. Despite it being immensely prevalent, not a lot of us attempt to address the monstrosities that peer pressure and the consequent fear of social acceptance can do to someone. Surely, many of you have done things that you aren’t proud of, just to be accepted by those who you call ‘friends’.
A heart-rendering real-life account of the fear of social acceptance, peer pressure and their horrendous consequences was discussed by a Pakistani on Twitter, recently.
“When I was in grade 6th, a new girl came to our class. She appeared to be rather weird with her boy cut. She was always drawing stuff on her copies. However, I never liked the fact that people would ignore her and not sit with her. So, I started sitting with her. We talked! Dost bangaye achay. Her mother used to teach in a school, next to ours. She never talked about her father but it was obvious that they had financial issues while, she struggled with severe confidence issues.
Even though she had issues making friends, she really liked me. She used to write me letters during the break-periods. We were just kids. She had issues and I was her only support system. I made people talk to her. Things were good.
I knew she was not a lesbian but to protect my so called izzat at school I insulted her
And then one day she came to school with (my name) written on her wrist with a blade. The whole school was laughing at her. I knew she had psychological issues and I knew she was not a lesbian. I knew it was a phase. But to protect my so called izzat at school I insulted her and consequently, stopped talking to her. I started telling people that she was actually gay. I kind of liked the attention I was getting.
Life kept moving and I almost forgot about her. But then one day, an advertising team came to our university. She was one of the team members. She came to say hi but I ignored her. She knew I was faking it but she left. After a few months, I heard about her mother’s death. Took her number from a class fellow and texted her. She replied with her address and asked me to attend the janaza. I didn’t go and I have no idea why.
One day, she finally texted me about how her father is doing weird stuff to her younger siblings and how she is lost without her mom. We started talking again. She told me her dad is not allowing her to work and things are not good in her family but she has found someone nice. Someone who was willing to send a rishta for her and take care of her siblings too. She was happy.
It was April 1, 2015. I was on my way to the university when I saw a status about her death.
I thought this was just another April fools joke. I ignored it and went to the university. I came back home, charged my phone and found a gazillion messages from my class fellows confirming her death. I missed the janaza anyway because I still thought that the news of her death was a joke, except that it wasn’t. Nobody knows what happened. Her body was found in her house. Apparently, she fell off the stairs and died of blood loss. And just like that I lost a friend.
I ignored her for social acceptance. Lost her to social acceptance. Couldn’t even make it to her janaza and i will never forgive myself for that. There’s no specific message to this story but just be there for your friends and stop doing things for the sake of social acceptance. Use that brain of yours.“
