It’s no secret that Shahrukh is the undefeated King of Romance in our neck of the woods. He’s romanced the biggest names in the industry, and till now we’ve always believed that in order to score a bachi we’d need to act like him, and girls have also always dreamed of having a Shahrukh of their own. I have, too. It’s okay.
However, we’ve had a game-changer realisation and now we don’t know how to feel, anymore. Turns out, the King of Romance has never really had a girl of his own. Almost never. He’s always stealing someone else’s girl, playing with other people’s lives in the process. Here’s all the times Shahrukh messed up everyone’s relationships, in no particular order, kiunke dil tootne ka koi schedule nahi hota.
1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayeinge
There isn’t a bigger example of Shahrukh taking someone else’s girl than this movie, than Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayeinge. Anjali was betrothed to Kuljeet, an all-out solid guy, before she even met Raj. But did he care? Nope. He did everything he could, breaking hearts on the way. And not just one. Dadi, Amrish Sahab, Kuljeet, all his friends, and his sister. Wtf, Raj?
2. Deewana
This time Shahrukh messed with Bollywood seniority and took Rishi Kapoor’s wife after he died. Matlab marrey huey banday ki rooh ko sukoon bhi nahi dena. AND THEN HE CAME BACK TO LIFE AND SHAHRUKH SAID NO FUCKING WAY and then he died again. But Shah didn’t give up his recently acquired bachi.
3. Dil Tu Pagal Hai
In this turn of events, Shahrukh Khan stole the Khiladi, Akshay Kumar’s fiance. All because he wanted his Maya. He leaves behind a perfectly hot woman, who’s emotionally balanced, and madly in love with him, and goes for the one who’s not even interested in him in the beginning. Who also laughs at him, eats his sandwiches, and says yes to Akshay Kumar after she knows Shah loves her.
4. Koyla
Koyla is not the only time he messed with Amrish Puri. However, this time we broke all barriers and went straight for his wife! Bechaara, sometimes he’s harassed, sometimes he has his beti taken and others his wife gets taken away.
5. Veer Zaara
This guy crossed an entire international border to take someone else’s girl away from them. And then when he couldn’t get her, he faked his own death, which led her to break off her shaadi and then crosses borders, to India, ALL OVER AGAIN and serve his parents, while he was still in Pakistan. And 22 years later, he finally got her.
6. Darr
He tries really hard to score the girl in Darr, but of course, Sunny Pa Ji and his dhai kilo ka haath reigned supreme, lekin Shah ne koi kasar tau nahi chorri thi.
7. Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na
This movie was Shahrukh’s epitome of being a covert villain. He tries with poori aerhi ka zor, to break one of his closest friends up with the girl who’s really into him just so he can get her. He plotted in advance, lied his way through endless days, and still didn’t get the girl.
8. Chalte Chalte
Okay, so boy meets girl. They have a good time, one any pair of friends would have with each other. And then he finds out that Rani, the girl, is on her way to Greece for her engagement to her childhood sweetheart. Shahrukh, then, stalks her all the way to the airplane, gets on the same flight as her, doesn’t really have a visa (because what European country gives visas overnight?) and then travels with her all the way to Greece to ruin the engagement. Cross-border bachi scoring ki tau aleyda baat hai, he crossed continents, this time!
9. Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Once again, in similar fashion to Dil Tu Pagal Hai (see point 3 for reference), he rejects his best friend, who is head over heels in love with him and goes for the mini-skirt wearing foreign-return Tina. Who also falls for him, in spite of the fact that he regularly bad-mouthed her dad. And what’s worse is, that Anjali (the best friend) thought the only reason he liked Tina was because of the kind of clothes she wore, so she tried dressing up like her. And still, zero lift. THEN after Anjali has sucessfully moved on, mini-Anjali goes and decides to reunite Rahul and Anjali, because she can’t see anyone happy. So basically, Anjali ka pehla pyaar bhi adhoora reh gaya aur doosra bhi. And all that bullshit about hum pyaar bhi ek baar kerte hain aur shaadi bhi ek baar kerte hain went down the gutter, because he clearly did both twice, using his dying mother and ADHD struck child as blackmail. Cuz yolo.
10. Om Shanti Om
Frustrated about not being able to make it big in the industry, he tries to score the biggest director’s girl. And kind of manages to. Then it turns out that she’s preggers, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. But then she dies. And then he dies. And then he comes back to life. And then eventually gets the girl’s reincarnated version. And then they kill the big director from their previous lives.
11. Devdas
There’s something about Shahrukh persistently rejecting people who love him to bits over long periods of time. Devdas is no different. So they’re best friends bachchpan mein, he leaves for London, returns after 10 years, she’s still in love with him and he’s apparently still in love with her. BUT. Ek larai hui nahi baap sey he uses it as an escape to run away and send her a little letter, saying he can’t marry her. And then when she does decide to get married, mandap per pohanch jata hai taakey woh isske saath bhaag jaye. She refuses, he throws a tantrum, physically abuses her. And goes away again. But still keeps messing with her head, ke kahin chahat ka silsila na bhujh jaye.
12. Paheli
Shahrukh was so badly out of bachis to steal, that he ends up stealing his own bachi. Woh bhi jinn ban ke.
13. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi
Here’s another ode to Shahrukh stealing Shahrukh’s own wife. But this time it didn’t have anything to do with a jinn or anything. Shahrukh, same life, same human, decides to change his get-up and steal his own wife. And he’s completely okay with her choosing his alter-ego over him. Err, wtf?
So what happens if Shahrukh doesn’t manage to get the girl?
Simple. He dies. Here’s a list of all the times he died out of sadma of not getting the girl.
Darr
Anjam
Devdas
Dil Se
So. Get Bachi Or Die Trying. If you’re still not convinced, or even if you are, WATCH THIS:
Stop taking our bachiyaan, SRK.