This is part of our series, “Tales from The Dark Side”, about the deepest, darkest, harshest realities of Pakistani society that should serve as lessons.

Shumail was brutally tortured by her husband after her severely impoverished father couldn’t gather enough money for her dowry, in time. Madiha was drenched in petrol and burnt alive by her husband after she couldn’t give him a motorbike as her dowry. Aneeba was poisoned by her husband for not providing the dowry he had asked for. These are all real incidents, and there are thousands of other girls who suffer a similar fate in Pakistan, every year.

There are over 2000 dowry, or jahaiz related deaths surfaced this year alone, in Pakistan.

There are also myriad cases in the more covert, rural pockets of the country that probably don’t even make it to headlines, let alone the police. This practice of dotal marriages i.e. marriage based on dower, may be looked down upon among circles that consider themselves civilized, publicly but the practice remains prevalent in large parts of the country.

Dotal marriages were prevalent across medieval Europe, parts of the East and across Asia but they were different from how dowry is being practiced in Pakistan today

The reason for giving dowry was simple – in case of divorce or widowhood, the bride would remain financially safe. While this custom has diminished in most parts of the world, it’s still very much alive in South Asia, especially in arranged marriages and poorer classes who see dowry as a traditional crux of wedlock.

The history of this system in Pakistan arises from archaic India, when Hindu marriages took place among the higher castes in the North. It was eventually banned in India in 1961, but made little difference. Gender-based violence associated with jahaiz across the border is still at an uncomfortable high.

In Pakistan, The Dowry and Bridal Gifts Restriction Act passed in 1976 restricts how much can be spent when giving dowry (five thousand rupees), but doesn’t really discourage dowry.

Dowry has degenerated into what now feels like the brainchild behind gender-based violence in Pakistan.

The word jahaiz has now become a perpetual facade for a disturbing muster of murder, rape, and violence among poorer communities in Pakistan. We’ve become acclimatized to it here. Our ardent news anchors debating female deaths is a phenomenon. FIRs barely do justice, and bribery has become an exhausted go-to.

In such a heavily patriarchal society, women are already seen as burdensome and so poorer parents have little choice but to surrender to dowry-dystopia.

Fathers will spend lifetimes saving up jahaiz for their daughters to ascertain their married futures. A dowry based marriages isn’t a marriage; it’s a beard for in-laws who relish materialistic gain, even if it means financial ruin for the bride’s parents. A marriage built on such a staggering foundation is bound to be fleeting.

Where chauvinism lingers heavy in the air, what we need is a revolution.

Our society has been moulded in a very patrilineal way right from it’s conception, and breaking a ritual so greatly embedded and grounded isn’t easy. Yet times are evolving, and anything is possible. Women are speaking up, taking charge and becoming beacons of change.

Let’s make 2017 a better year for our women. Don’t let them perish.

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For more of the deepest, darkest realities that plague our society check out ‘Tales From The Dark Side‘.

Cover image via: Ali Xeeshan