Seeing women in the “perfect” shape, size and character is a big obsession for our society. They have to dress a certain way, talk a certain way and look a certain way all along with being non-complaining, always submissive and ever smiling wives. So let us all ask ourselves a million dollar question: Who is the perfect Pakistani bahu?

Now, how many things popped up in your mind?

I am sure these words went through your mind: fair skinned, tall height, really good ikhlaaq, a beautiful smile, long hair, the definition of sharafat and the list goes on and on. Who actually come up with this stuff anyway?  Every aunty and a “settled guy” wants to win this marital lottery.

But then what about all those girls who aren’t perfect enough to be prized possessions of someone’s home? Who should be blamed for their growing low self confidence and depression in some cases, when they get rejected on daily basis? They spend hours and hours to get ready, to look presentable for the larkey waley and after an hour of shoving food down their throats and getting a garam chae ka cup, the larkey waley go back to their home and call off the rishta the very next morning, because she wasn’t tall enough, or she had acne, or she didn’t smile a lot, or she didn’t know how to serve tea.

I don’t imply that marriage is the only ultimate goal for every girl’s life, but what about those who really do want to get married but then she has to go through the circus of being the “perfect candidate”?

Even a girl who falls in love, usually has this idea idea of her boyfriend being a “prince charming”

She keeps on dreaming of the day she will marry him, searches for venues and even decides from where she will get the lehnga. At the end she gets a call from the love of her life saying that his father does not approve because “love marriage nai hoskti humare khandaan mein”.

And then this girl becomes trash for others who come after this “affair” of hers. The whole girl-with-a-past thing is not something to appreciate at all, there are so many families out there who would never accept a girl as a wife for their son. just because they have an idea about her past “affair” and their son was just famous among the females because they couldn’t “resist” him. But the girl, she was chalak enough to trap some guy into marrying her because duh! why should a guy get married to someone he once dated?

No one in the world can say for sure how married life will unfold

Nor can anyone tell how the “dulhan” will treat the whole family and her husband. Let’s just keep aside the prejudices against young girls, with a mind and a soul based on their physical appearance, or weak family background and just because she fell in love with someone. If the society does not judge the guy based on these senseless things (who wants a gora husband anyway) then it is high time we stop this nonsense for once and all.

So, who is the perfect bahu, then?

One who is kept closeted like a porcelain doll and is a virtual slave without any independent thinking of actually being a companion to her man or someone who has seen the world, can help they guy by standing tall next to him but because she has the nerve to speak her mind, she is chalak?

Cover Image via: Elan

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