Urban Dictionary has a lot of great definitions for what fuckboys really are and all of them are true.
For the uninitiated, here are a few explanations that might help:
Since insects, arachnids and mini reptiles that plague your houses weren’t punishments enough, God decided to unleash a horde of fuckboys on our beautiful planet, in order to wreak havoc in everyone’s lives. The thing about fuckboys is – they’re more of an inconvenience than a threat. Much like insects, they too are more scared of you than you are of them and can be crushed just as easily. Usually, they don’t know how to take no for an answer, but if you really want to nail the point home, we’ve got you covered with this comprehensive guide.
Identifying a fuckboy by his appearance is usually pretty hard, considering they’ve learned how to camouflage themselves among harmless men. However, excessive hair gel and a newly acquired accent which slips with a slight change in tone are usually tell tale signs, along with a tendency to lurk on your Instagram/Snapchat/Twitter profiles and slide into your DMs with unnerving smoothness. However, in order to really figure out if a guy is a fuckboy or not, look out for the following sure fire signs:
1) Constant compliments, followed by incessant requests for pictures, which, if shot down, is followed by a rant on how uptight you are.
2) Basically pretending you guys are dating when you’re texting, but blatantly denying it in public, followed by an explanation about how he doesn’t believe in being tied down.
3) Keeping you on the hook. Constantly. And losing his shit if you accidentally address him as a fuckboy. Touchy hojate hain.
4) Avoiding mentioning you in front of his friends. If you call him when he’s out, he won’t answer. If you text him, he’ll be busy.
5) Deviating the conversation towards sexual topics. MAJOR sign.
6) A general disrespect for women and casual sexism. Common words in his vocabulary to describe girls: slut, whore, bitch and, if he slips out of his burger image for a split second into his original accent and language, words like kamini, kutti or probably a lot worse.
7) Taking digs at your self esteem to make you think you need him.
8) Borderline narcissistic tendencies with an obsession of his abbu ka khareeda hua samaan. Something along the lines of “meri gaari check ki yaar, itni tight hai” and “meray new Nike ke shoes check kiye” in the worst burger accent imaginable.
9) Sweet talking ONLY when no one’s around to keep you baited.
10) Talking about girls and their bodies, including yours.
If any guy you know checks off any of these points, great. Identification is the first step. Now let’s get to dealing with these human embodiment of plagues. Here’s how:
Try to stay away
If you’re lucky, you haven’t met any fuckboy yet. If you have and you’re not too invested, slowly back off and keep walking till you’re light-years away from their toxicity. Remember: if they can’t see you, they can’t piss you off.
Shut them down
If he’s being disrespectful, correct him. If he argues, argue back. Disrespect isn’t cool, it’s pathetic.
Watch them mansplain* their way into an implosion
*Mansplain: A man explaining to a woman what life for a woman should be like a.k.a. A man being an asshole.
If he makes a sexist joke or a vague comment that he hopes you will catch on:
Step 1: ask him to explain, telling him you don’t get how it’s funny.
Step 2: watch him crash and burn
Nothing will rid you off a fuckboy quicker than when he starts to realize that yahan kuch nahi honay wala.
Get rid of them
Nothing scares a fuckboy more than a girl who sees right through them. Straight up haul their asses out of your life and watch as they implode with fury and disbelief.
Tear them a new one. Rip their self esteem, self confidence and arrogance apart so that they never go back to their fuckboy ways to fuck up another girl’s life. Not only is this beneficial to girls everywhere, it’s also extremely enjoyable. Try it. You’ll see.
Realize you’re better than settling for a fuckboy
If you’re sticking around for him to change, chances are it’ll never happen. Instead, he’ll change the way you view love and leave you emotionally scarred. If you’re settling because you think you can’t do better or you won’t get anyone else to give you attention, you need to get that out of your head. You are worth more. Keep that in your mind.
At the end of the day, you need to remember that fuckboys will never amount to anything more than an inconvenience in your life. Do yourself a favor and pluck them out of your lives to save yourself severe heart break.
Zarra ye bhee check karein: