Editor’s Note: The views expressed here are those of the author’s and don’t necessarily represent or reflect the views of MangoBaaz.

By: Mehran Jamro

I’m going to rant and I’m going to rant heavy, so bear with me, please.

WAKE UP PEOPLE, you know that the people behind MangoBaaz are being funded by the Jews. Do you know who controls what I find funny?  Not MangoBaaz.

“Mangobaaz tumne apnay shaitani kartooton se BAAZ nahi aana kia?”

How dare an independently run, creative platform like MangoBaaz, which exists solely for my personal entertainment, NOT provide me the not-so-comedic content which I have been brought up on?

How dare it try to plunge out from the patriarchal norms which have been set for this country by wise, bold and beautiful fascist politicians and authoritarians?

These are some of the questions I have for the audience.

It is MangoBaaz and the likes which are bringing poverty and starvation to countries like Africa and America.

Listen Mango, can I call you that? You’re like a really good guy who really means well but you know me, I don’t want to rebel. I don’t want to live in 2016, the 17th century isn’t really that bad you know.

And WTF is up with all the feminism?

Look, I know in some specific areas women are treated brutally. I know of all the accounts of acid attacks that are allegedly happening in Pakistan, but you see, statistically chauvinist men have proven to be bigger victims of acid attacks in Pakistan than women.

*cough*Acid attacks to their egos that is*cough*

The fact of the matter is that there’s only one thing that women in the whole world want and that’s money and mailas who are not even interested in them *starts tearing up* Why would they do that? We are such good-hearted guys *starts sobbing*

All I’m saying is, how many articles about meninism have you written?

You know that in today’s matriarchal age, men are the main victims to abuses ranging from slut-shaming to public harassment in their day to day lives.

But what are you doing to change that? Nothing.

How dare you give the Pakistani youth a chance to express themselves creatively in front of such a large audience.

How dare a website which might just be the pioneer of original Pakistani internet culture (or memes in short) attempt to work hard tirelessly on some project just so that I can have a laugh, make Such. Bad. Content?

Why is it so hard for you to make some good content? smh

How dare you go against all political beliefs (mine specifically) just to “entertain” us while also lowkey trying to promote peace?

Of course, one could “suggest improvements” but you know what? You shithole don’t deserve improvements. You just deserve my wrath.

God, you disgust me, MangoBaaz.

[Rant over, phew]

About the Author: Mehran is a devout napper. Music mawali. Apple sidra is his chars. Samosas are his weakness. 

Cover image via: dfnyproductions.com