Ah Eid, now you can eat all the meat whenever you want! And we as Pakistanis take full advantage of this with all the daawatein we’re invited to (oh yeah there’s a lot of eating that’s about to go down).
The funny thing about Eid daawatein is that they have go through the same stages. The exact same things happen at each one of them, so really the only thing that changes with each house, is the food and the people.
That Awkward Hug
No one knows going into a hug if its a normal greeting or the three-time hugging Eid greeting. So stuff gets pretty awkward pretty fast whenever you’re meeting people at these daawats. And then you have to hear things like “Eid tou beta sirf issi tarah milte hain” (followed my three suffocating bear hugs you weren’t prepared for)
The ‘Itne Urse Baad Mil Rahe Hai‘
One of the hosts of the daawat will always say this line. You’re just expected to give an awkward smile and make hand gestures that say ‘what to do’ but internally you’re thinking ‘well if you only call us only for eid tou yehi hona hai!’.
Meeting Strangers
The host will introduce you to people you don’t know or people you only see during Eid. The awkward hug is usually more awkward with them. These poor souls probably don’t know anyone else and its as though “I like to talk to strangers” is imprinted on your forehead and they begin telling you their life story.
FOOOOD
Finally the real reason you came over! Food glorious food. Then while eating you remember ke koi 100 aur ghar mein jana hai, hath haula rakho.
Arey ye kya takkaluf kar rahe hain aap
Once you decided to hath haula with the food, someone will use the dreaded T word. It will piss you off a little bit, or a lot. Just smile and nod and if they’re the obsessive type, take a little food, stand in a corner and take forever to eat it. Always works.
Dropping food on your clothes
At any one of the daawats, you will drop something on your clothes and it will be a “ye daagh tou nahin bachega” moment.
The long process of leaving
So you have to say “acha jee KhudaHafiz” to literally everyone that’s there. There will a few ‘huggers’ in the mix too- meet them at a distance.
Now you’re off to the next dawat, where this cycle will repeat itself.