Karachi boys are single and desperate

Karachi is a multi-ethnic city of more than 25 million. It is the hub of every major business in Pakistan, good or bad, profitable or not-so profitable. And it is home to some of the most humble, wisest, and technically-gifted individuals.

Yet a majority of these individuals are deprived of true pyar, ishq, and muhabbat. Their quest of finding true love hits the rocks at Do Darya every time they feel like they’re close to fulfilling their everlasting dream. Why?

Well, here’s why:

1. The Socially Active One

When you don’t find love, you try again. If you still can’t find it, you try again. You see one girl who is super-social, loves having a good time with friends, can always be found in malls, cafes, and restaurants. Basically anywhere but her home. She is also, in your mom’s words, very fazool kharch.

Verdict: Likeable, but is she really bahu material?

2. The Ba-Parda Khatoon

This girl is only interested in halal relationships, for very obvious reasons, and belongs to that naughty clan of girls who say “haath ki pic bhaij rahi hoon, shakal khud imagine kar laina.” Seldom seen outside, but usually seen with their overly-protective brothers.

Verdict: Undateable.

3. The Party Animal

The girl who is ALWAYS ready to party. Shaadi? Let’s party. Funeral? Let’s go party after that. Party or no party, the wild girl is the life of every party. Her idea of having fun is to go out regardless of the time and/or circumstances and do what? Party!

Verdict: Dangerous for your “image”, thus undateable.

4. The Super Loud Girl

In terms of being annoying, this girl gets the trophy over every other girl. She would make sure that her voice is heard. No secret is safe with her. She’s the kind of girl who’d make a dinner at any fine-dining restaurant a very embarrassing one.

Verdict: Has potential to change with the help of duct tape. Undateable.

5. Shadeed Laraka

The ultimate Karachi girl – always to take on the boys, always ready to fight. Give her one look of “love” and watch her whip out a verbal bashing that includes her favorite “tumharay ghar mai maa behan nahi hai!?” quote.

Verdict: Don’t even think about it!

6. The Wannabe Defence ki Burger

This girl believes in the mantra ‘dress to impress’. However she is plagued with the complex of not belonging to a ‘posh’ area. Her looks can rival Beyonce, but her speaking skills would make even Meera sweat. She’s ‘DaDdY’s liL’ PwiNx3sS’, extremely hard to impress, and only wants to date a Defence/Clifton mai rehnay wala jawan. Or better yet, a blue passport holder. Yeah, she’s shallow like that.

Verdict: Slightly dateable if you bite the bullet.

7. Morning show lover

“Kuch hotay hain farigh loag, kuch hotay hain shadeed farigh loag, aur kuch hotay hain jo morning shows mai baithh ke taaliyan bajatay hain” Super-farigh, easily impressed, and her ideal person is Shaista Lodhi and/or Maya Khan and is a keen follower of Zubaida Aapa and her magical totkay. She wouldn’t go on a date with you if her favorite show is on.

Verdict: Why would you even go there?

8. The High-headed Angraiz

Ideally, their husband should be tall, handsome, and must have a 7-digit income to fund this girl’s world tours. They’d rather stay single than spend their lives with anyone less than a nawab who knows 5 languages, none of them Urdu.

Verdict: Nope.

9. The Kitabi Keera

For her, love is just a word. They are too lost in their books, too engrossed in their studies, to even think about getting their head up to look at perfectly dateable Karachi boys.

Verdict: Dateable if convinced to get their faces out of their books.

10. The Reserved-for-Khala/Phuppi–ka–Beta

This bechari wants to love, wants to feel what it is like to be loved, but can’t. Why? Because long before she started cooing as a precious little baby, her Khala/Phuppi had already decided that she will be their son’s better half. Whether she likes it or not.

Verdict: Don’t you dare look at another man’s pre-booked wife.

11. The Super Model

Usually seen in restaurants and malls, perfectly dressed, high heels and all, looking fabulous with no care for the world. The epitome of grace, but out of every Karachi wala‘s league. Sigh.

Verdict: Kid, you can think about her, but it’ll never be a reality.

12. The Future Hum TV Bahoo

This girl is determined to become an actress, most likely because she thinks she’s fair. She might also have gone to the National Academy of Performing Arts for 2 months and then dropped out for a UPS commercial, but her dreams are big nonetheless.

Verdict: Unless you have the right connections in the industry, she doesn’t have time for you.

13. And then there’s you

You are a hardworking individual, who enjoys long drives, loathes the daily traffic jams, the usual hustle and bustle of Karachi annoys you. You just need someone who’d hear you out, help you relax, and love you regardless of how difficult of a person you are. You hate the Rangers for targeting MQM, clearing out the city of major terrorists, and making it free of the frequent shutdowns, which gave you random, joyful days off work.

Of course, these reasons are just the tip of the iceberg. Single or not, Karachi boys remain some of the most hardworking individuals you’d find in Pakistan. They’re also some of the most dheet, meaning they would rather stay single than change themselves for the better.

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Cover image via: hipinpakistan.com